Do you struggle with always pleasing others? Are you overwhelmed by overwork and stress because you place other’s needs in front of your own? Do you have life goals that YOU want to accomplish that are pushed aside to help others first?
Trust me, you’re not alone. Rich entrepreneurs struggle with this too. Watch this video:
Please leave a comment below… Tell my your struggles or your #1 tip to stop being a people-pleaser… Or your top question about eliminating the people-pleaser attitude…
I’ve found a strange pattern when studying successful people:
Style and fashion matter.
It’s important to many facets of life: dating, sales, business, presentation, grooming, etiquette, and so on.
Yes, you have a few techbillionaires who wear what they want (Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg) but most of them understand the importance of at least looking presentable.
But here’s the CRAZY part:
I’ve kind of skipped on this my whole life.
I’m definitely not one of those who always was good at it.
Yet I am now acknowledging its importance.
Honestly, there were times when I tried but, like others, I used the excuse of “lack of money or time.”
It may be partially true.
But having studying people like the Youtuber AlphaM, I realize it’s a bit of a generalization. This guy Alpha M, otherwise known as Aaron Marino, was voted best dressed in high school even though he was dirt poor. He did it by buying smart at a thrift store.
And the few times I have spent tons of money on clothing, I never wore most of it more than once because it turned out to be really lame in terms of fashion.
That’s another huge problem many guys have: they have horrible fashion sense.
A great example would be an episode of the Mating Grounds Podcast. They had a guy called Joe on who is pretty average in every area. The way he rationalized why he bought and chose the clothes he did just showed how bad your perception of your fashion is: he chose colors and t-shirts simply because they were his favorite color or design.
When it went together, he looked like a rainbow. He didn’t see anything wrong with his fashion even though it was clear to others to be horrible.
That’s why I have emphasized using a ton of fashionable women for fashion advice from now on.
Your own opinion of your fashion could be flawed completely. It’s best to get an objective opinion.
Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg both wore the same thing everyday. And they did it for a reason: limited willpower. They need that willpower energy to make critical decisions rather than waste it deciding on which outfit to pick. Obama has mentioned he does the same idea:
“You’ll see I wear only gray or blue suits,” [Obama] said. “I’m trying to pare down decisions. I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make.”
That’s why this article is all about a few core concepts:
Getting you to spend minimal time in your life buying clothes because you are busy.
Using timeless outfits that will always be in style to look sharp.
Having a couple core colors that always look good for each piece of clothing, which can lead to dozens of variations of outfits despite a minimum wardrobe.
I’ve read countless self-help books and wealth books like Think and Grow Rich or How To Win Friends and Influence People that mention how fashion is important. In one of the books, there was even a story of one man who bought a great suit he couldn’t afford, and eventually managed to score an incredible connection that catapulted his career because someone liked his suit.
When I read stuff like that, I can’t always relate because it’s usually a story that happened decades ago.
But it turns out that basic human psychology does not change. Humans are slow to evolve. They will be generally the same thousands of years from now.
An article by Neil Patel illustrates how he tested out wearing good clothing. Neil does a lot of business meetings and usually closes 1 out of 4 people. By spending a lot of on a good suit, he went from 25% to a 40% closing rate. This brought in an extra $692,500 that year.
And that was through clothes alone.
The articles goes into great detail on other benefits of dressing well. It created a lot of connections for him.
Another huge thing I want to highlight about the article is Neil’s perspective: He wish superficial things like looks and clothing didn’t matter that much but his results show that people judge you based on your dress.
Coming from a background of never being the best dressed or even close, I can relate to a lot of times when I wish it didn’t matter as much.
Having said that, I also have to be honest with myself and acknowledge that I do deep down appreciate someone who dresses well and takes care of himself. It looks cool. It sometimes show they take care of themselves and care about their image.
Note: looks aren’t everything and you can still be a horrible person on the inside even if you dress well.
But having said that, let’s move on.
I have been watching a decent amount of men’s fashion advice videos and videos where women give fashion advice.
I have also been asking women my age for advice. I have asked maybe 20+ that have given decent responses. It’s surprisingly one of the best ways of starting a conversation. Women love fashion. They are much more open to talking versus using a pickup line.
What I have found from these videos is exciting:
Men are encouraged to keep it minimalistic and simple!
They are told to leave the intricate, complicated, fancy stuff to the females.
I’m so glad about this because it means less work and less accessories or extra clothing to buy for us!
It also goes back to Steve Jobs and Bill Gates:
CEOs and founders have a lot of responsibilities and therefore they have to deal with limited cognition, willpower, and decision making.
To avoid decision fatigue, they have to limit all the small choices they have in a day: like choosing outfits.
It’s a real thing.
That’s why I was SUPER excited about this.
I don’t like spending a needlessly large amount of time buying clothes or picking outfits everyday. I’m all about productivity so it’s great that I don’t have to and still fall into what women love the most.
Anyhow, without further ado, let me summarize the big things I found women like from what I have learned:
Simple colors, especially black, white, and gray.
V-Necks. They LOVE them
Collared Button-Up’s and/or Plaid when it’s cold
Simple, minimalistic outfits: jeans, boots, a shirt
Avoid the “average person” look: t-shirt, hoodie, and tennis shoes
Even though it’s often way overpriced (you’re paying for just the logo), some of them love Ralph Lauren
They love a great suit
Make sure everything’s fitted
Now, let’s go into detail…
1. Keep It Simple and Spend A Little More For Quality
Jeans are a great example:
Can you tell the difference between a $10,000 pair of jeans and a $200 pair?
Probably not, right?
Like many things in life, there’s a diminishing return.
Just like a camera, you might be able to tell the difference between a $20 one and a $200 one. The cheaper it is, the bigger the difference.
As Neil Patel points out in his article, you don’t need to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to have the best fashion.
I have quizzed a lot of girls on fashion advice and although they are naturally better than men, their skill plateaus quite fast. What this means is that 99% of them cannot tell the difference between a $50 v neck and a $300 v neck. So do not waste the money.
What you should focus on is spending extra to jump from the lowest quality fabric and price to a couple steps above. It can go a long way. A shirt from H&M may cost $7 but gets worn out and shrinks within two washes because the quality sucks.
The greatest difference in quality comes from that initial few jumps in quality. For a suit, that might mean a $1,000 suit rather than a $100 suit. For a t-shirt that might mean the $30 one from a respectable brand versus a $5 one.
For shoes, there is a big jump in quality between $100 and $200, and another big jump at $400. Stick around the $200 or $400 range for the best bang for your buck.
2. Have Just A Few Of The RIGHT Outfits
Our wardrobe and closet does not have to be the nightmare we envision of thousands of clothes in a pile that would take hours a week to organize and maintain.
We can do fairly well by being fairly minimalistic and simple, which is what girls want.
Obviously, don’t overdo it as it would be foolish to believe that some variety is always a bad thing.
1-3 versions of v-necks, boots, jeans, collared shirts, plaid, and suits could just about do it.
I didn’t really like the v-neck because I thought it was for only muscular men.
Having asked enough girls though, it seems that it still works well for non-muscular men, though of course they would prefer a muscular male.
3. Keep It Timeless: Timeless Colors, V-Neck’s, and Suits
This is the key.
Don’t try and choose crazy colors because you think they “look cool.” Don’t try and buy some wacky designs because you think you’re going to look unique. Don’t try and be the “trendsetter” when you suck at fashion.
It just backfires and makes you awful. And even if it’s in fashion right now, it will go out of fashion in ten years. And you will be embarrassed. Like The Rock:
On the Internet, I’ve watched a lot of makeovers where experts come in to help an average man with his fashion. One of the most common problems is a severe lack of understanding of colors. They choose off-the-wall, crazy colors because it “looks cool” or it’s their favorite color, not realizing the colors clash or are just weird.
Here are the colors you should stick to:
These colors look well for suits, polo’s, t-shirts, v-neck’s, and dress-shirts.
Once you’re fully settled in these and know a bit more about fashion, you can venture into:
I suggest staying with just the basic colors. For me, I just have 3 foundational colors: white, black, or gray.
Here are some examples of colors and design you should avoid:
Don’t try and do something crazy. Leave that to professionals in fashion who do this full time.
For you, stick to simple, solid colors, with no (or very few) stripes.
I suggest you only stick to black, gray, and white. v-necks, and suits.
Think timeless. These colors will be in trend 30 years from now just like they were 30 years ago. You don’t want to have an outfit or trend that goes out of date in a few months. The same concept applies to not just colors, but outfits.
Every decade, the previous generation regrets wearing clothes that were “hot” or “in trend” that year.
Wear Timeless Suits. Ladies Love Them.
Suits are one of the big ones. Most women who are asked say that they love a man wearing a suit.
A classic suit is always in style.
There are men who wore suits in the 1940’s who would still look completely in place now. As I explained with Neil Patel, a good suit can help you outside of just dating. It can help you in business.
Your first foundational suit should be versatile, timeless, and smart. Therefore, it should be a solid navy (preferred) or a solid charcoal gray. It shouldn’t have stripes because it’s not as versatile. It should have 3 buttons, no more and no less. Source: Real Men Real Style
Keep it with these safe colors. If you want to add some spice, you can do it with a colorful tie or dress shirt.
Suit Supply has great $400 suits that fit well and are great quality. Some of them have free shipping, returns, and tailoring. Absolutely make sure it’s fitted. See the next heading to see why it matters so much (especially for suits).
4. Get It Fitted
The right fit makes all the difference. Many people have incredibly muscular bodies but fail to show it off because of excessively baggy clothing. Having the right fit can really complement your height and physique if you do things right.
Having the right fit can really complement your height and physique if you do things right. The wrong fit can fail to market you as the incredible person you truly are.
Most people don’t know what the right fit is. They think it’s good, but it’s usually too loose.
If you have money, consider spending around $30 to $40 for a tailor to come in to tailor your dress shirts and suits. It is usually worth it.
If you want to save some money and try to buy a fitted shirt off the rack:
Here’s a general rule of thumb:
Measure your neck circumference and arm length. Those measurements are on dress shirts when you buy them and it’s easy to compare. What people miss are the chest and waist lengths. You don’t have to measure these since shirts don’t even list these measurements.
What people miss are the chest and waist lengths. You don’t have to measure these since shirts don’t even list these measurements. This is what you can do: try on the shirt and look at yourself in a mirror. Put your arms out to either side. There should be an inch or less of room on either side of your chest and waist if you pull out the shirt.
There it cuts off on the shoulder part of your suit, jacket, or dress shirt should be at the end of your shoulders.
There’s plenty of videos on Youtube about how dress shirts, jeans, t-shirts, dress pants, and everything else should fit.
If you have the money, you can spend around $40 bucks to get it custom tailored and it will be worth it. You want to only do this for the things that matter, like a suit or dress shirt.
For something like t-shirts, learn a bit about proper fit to buy it right off the rack.
5. Wear What’s Comfortable For You And Fits With Your Personality
One thing I really didn’t like about one of the interview videos I showed earlier is that the guy was forced to wear a complete “bad boy” outfit that was clearly not representative of his personality.
You can tell by his body language and facial expressions that he really felt uncomfortable in it.
Even if you look attractive, if you don’t feel like it really represents you, that will seep through on a subconscious level and make you look less attractive.
I think the difference between a good and great fashion expert is that they understand this. Don’t force a nerd to be a bad boy if he’s not!
Some outfits should be ruled out if it makes you uncomfortable, even if it’s “attractive.”
6. Don’t Be Try-Hard
If you try overly hard to showboat something, people can sniff that out as compensating or faking it.
This happens all the time when people rent expensive cars or buy fake watches and pretend it’s real and they own it.
Women and men sniff it out because it’s over the top.. and it’s a turn-off.
The lesson is simple: don’t be super flashy with your fashion and try-hard – it’s off-putting.
An example would be an overly playboy or bad boy outfit.
A quick reference back to the Neil Patel article: he also experimented with buying a number of different watch brands. He found that an overly flashy and clearly flamboyant $28,000 watch was looked down upon while a simple, non-fancy $100,000 watch got noticed and got him more business contracts.
The point is: don’t be overly try hard in trying to look successful
7. Make Sure It’s Fitted
Make sure the clothing fits you well.
The difference between a crappy outfit and a good one could simply be the size that you choose to wear it.
Based on me studying fashion advice, I have found that I have usually been choosing a size that’s usually overly baggy: I used to choose a large t-shirt even though I have a smaller body.
If you don’t know, choose the smaller size so it wraps around your body better. (may be different if you have a bigger or overweight frame)
8. Go To Affordable Stores
OK, if you’re rich and don’t care, you can skip this section. You can even hire a tailor to come to your house if the time cost of going to the mall isn’t worth the money you could be making.
However, you can definitely save a ton of money by spending a bit more time choosing.
Only buy clothes you set out to buy. You can often find great deals at the discount section and I encourage you to take a look. However, beware of buying clothes you never should have because it’s on sale.
Everyone has a piece of clothing that is too big or small or just a weird color that they bought because it was on sale, even though they’ve never worn it. Even if it’s cheap, you’re still wasting money on something you will never use! Don’t fall for sales gimmicks.
Here are some of the best clothing stores to go to that have great quality clothing but are still affordable. This is ranked from worst quality and cheapest to best quality and most expensive:
H&M (decent quality but wears quickly)
Macy’s (The American Rag section and the J. Ferrar line are great)
The Gap (great quality and price but more for casual clothing. It’s a versatile brand that fits almost everyone.)
This video also has some great options:
The Tie Bar is a great place for affordable ties. See Point #10 on this article to understand why you shouldn’t waste time spending too much extra on a tie.
For shoes, here are you best options (starting at affordable and going to higher quality and more expensive):
Zappos.com (affordable and has almost anything. Flexible)
DSW (slightly more expensive, good quality)
Nordstrom (great but for more formal and business-type shoes)
If you are really on a budget, here are some tips to really the most affordable clothing:
Sign up for email newsletters on Brand websites for coupons.
Go straight to the discount section (often, the size won’t fit you, but sometimes you’ll be surprised).
Go to outlet counterparts of stores.
Go to Target, Marshall’s, or TJ Max.
Go to Thrift Stores.
9. Never Buy Clothing You’re Iffy About. Don’t Have Bad Clothes In Your Closet.
Have you ever spent money on clothing you’ve barely worn or never wore? I have. And I’m a very frugal guy. But over my lifetime, there’s probably a good 300 to 400 dollars worth of wacky clothing I never wore.
Because of my naivete, I bought things like a bright blue, plaid hoodie from Hollister and a deep Ed Hardey v-neck that I’ve never worn even though they cost me an arm and a leg.
Lack of fashion knowledge can cost you when you are most vulnerable. I was frugal for many months but ended up splurging on random clothing like this that I’ve never worn.
How? When they asked him how many bad outfits he had, he said he had none. All he was were 3 awesome outfits that he kept clean. He would steal cologne and grooming supplies from the mall.
What’s my point? This man was better dressed than most men because he adopted a minimalist wardrobe with no bad options.
If your wardrobe has bad clothing init you’ll never or will rarely wear, remove it.
You want clothing that you can wear confidently because it fits your personality. If you are iffy about it, pass on it. Trying to wear something that’s not you is like trying to fake a personality. It doesn’t work! I’ve tried.
10. Spend Less On The Things Most People Will Never Notice
Ties are a great example. From reading and learning a lot from fashion experts, ties are one of those things where 99% of people can’t tell the difference between a $10,000 tie and a $200 tie. This is an easy place to save money or waste money with close to no extra impact for the money you spend. Save your cash.
The Tie Bar is a great affordable yet quality website to buy ties.
Avoid places with overpriced brands.
Many big companies cheat customers by selling the same piece of clothing for multiple times the price by pumping up the brand name. It’s often the same thing in every way as a competitor product that doesn’t have the logo. But the often successfully trick you into thinking there’s something more there.
Sometimes, the quality is even worse but people will pay through the nose for the logo. I’m sure you’ve experienced this yourself. Despite my frugal Asian upbringing, I’ve fallen for this too. Here are some big examples: Beats by Dre Headphones versus any other brand headphone or The North Face jackets versus any similar jacket with a different logo. Air Jordans and Yeezy shoes are a similar thing. A pair of Yeezy’s can go for $2,000+.
Here are the biggest brands to avoid according to my trusted source, Alpha M:
Polo’s or other clothing by Ralph Lauren or Lacoste
Jos. A Bank
Note: the exception to this rule is that occasionally the logo is worth it. For example, I have asked many girls in the area and they love and look for the Ralph Lauren logo. However, this is different for each location you live in so figure out what works for you.
Most of the time I overemphasize on this, I pay too much and get underwhelming results. Don’t do this often. For example, I paid for quite a few Ralph Lauren polo’s. It did make me look more presentable, but there was a very negligible, noticeable change in results in any part of my life. Girls definitely didn’t flock to me just because I was wearing the shirts. Also, each shirt cost $50 to $80. It cost an arm and a limb for me. It was too expensive given my limited budget and I won’t do it again anytime soon.
Also, each shirt cost $50 to $80. It cost an arm and a limb for me. It was too expensive given my limited budget and I won’t do it again anytime soon. Maybe when I’m super rich.
Looking back through my life, there were plenty of moments where I walked through numerous clothing stores wondering what to buy. Even during times where it wasn’t a priority in my life, I still found myself there every now and then.
I probably knew in the back of my mind that it mattered to a certain extent and would occasionally find myself there just out of curiosity or looking to take a break from a busy life.
Almost every time I went, I didn’t know what I was doing. I would come out of the store bewildered, not knowing what to buy. If I did buy something, it would be something crazy-looking and expensive that I would end up never wearing, like a Ed Hardy deep v-neck.
I’m so glad that I took some time to invest and learn about men’s fashion. I realize now that the materials and ingredients were always there around me. The stores I wanted to go to were always where, but I just didn’t know what to buy or look for.
Rather than looking for a dress-shirt or a proper fitting pair of pants, I might come out with some crazy-colored t-shirt I thought looked cool. This is a great example of learning from people who know what they’re doing.
Fashion is one of those areas where someone who is below-average in skill can be lead to believe that he is great at it. Learning about the standards of fashion and what other girls like really helped eliminate my bias. I see this in others to an extreme extent and so you have to be careful.
If I were to summarize this whole thing in as few words as possible, it’d be:
Keep it smart but simple, wear what’s timeless, wear what’s comfortable to you, wear v-necks, black and white simple colors, suits, boots, jeans, be willing to spend a little more for quality.
Don’t spend too much on a specific article of clothing.
Certain things 99% of people can’t tell costs 100x more so save yourself the cash.
Examples include jeans and ties. Spend a reasonable amount (don’t be super cheap) but don’t spend thousands or even hundreds.
Fashion differs slightly depending on your culture and geographic location. People in a certain area might like more preppy-clothing.
According to Realmenrealstyle.com, remember the 3 pillars of Fashion success: fit, fabric, and function.
Fit – Does it properly fit your body frame well?
Fabric – Is it good quality? Will it last?
Function – Are you wearing it for the right occasion?
What you choose to wear can have a deep effect. You could be the most successful, wealthiest, most intelligent businessman on earth but if you dress like you’re a 17 year old teenager with a messy t-shirt, men and women sometimes won’t even give you a chance to open your mouth.
They often have nothing to go on but your looks.
I’m starting to see the importance of looks now. There are adults who have done fairly well and somehow managed to get through life without having to care at all about their fashion or grooming. Because of that, they have disheveled hair and crumbled jackets that they wear. Even I can’t deny it’s not a good look.
You’re definitely selling yourself short if you’re an amazing guy and you choose to dress very poorly. Most people don’t realize that your fashion is a choice. Many people have sort of just got used to it being a routine. It is definitely something that is a choice and that can be changed for the better.
Is it just tough to find people like you who will give you a chance?
Are you sick of people telling you to go to bars?
The truth is that you need to know where to find the girl of your dreams and go there. Because she exists right now. She is alive and she is somewhere right now.
In this article, I will show you how you can reverse engineer where these people hang out. This can be used for a lot of different areas of your life, not just dating. For example, if you are having trouble finding your ideal customer, you can use this model as well.
This is what I learned from Chapter 17 of the book Mate by Tucker Max.
Bars and Night Clubs Are Horrible Places To Meet Women
Being able to meet a girl you’ve never met, pick her up, and seduce her is a toxic myth.
Maybe you’ve been lead to believe that you can consistently go up to a girl you never met and quickly hook up with her.
It can be done but it’s very hard, even for the most experienced guys. You need to be confident, friendly, outgoing, loud, funny, and verbally fluent.
Most guys don’t have the personality type to do that. And that’s OK. You don’t need to do it this way. There are easier and better ways.
Bars and nights clubs aren’t the best way. Perhaps you’ve been lead to believe this by Hollywood, modern society, the businesses that make a profit if you go there, dating coaches, or pick up artists.
The truth is it’s way more competitive and tougher because:
There are a lot more guys to compete against.
The environment and loud music emphasize superficial traits like nonverbal cues, physique, body language, clothing, accessories, and wealth.
It’s dark, crowded, noisy. This makes it harder to communicate.
Women are ruder and more on guard because of the stronger, and potentially dangerous male strangers that could rape her and the increased volume of people hitting on her. It’s in her biological nature.
A bar is a bad place for meeting people because it has both gender’s worst fears at play.
Women biologically most fear being sexually assaulted. Men biologically most fear sexual humiliation. Both are most at play here.
So now, you are probably wondering, “Where are some actually good places to meet women besides bars?”
Let me tell you…
Make your dating life an extension of your social life
The best way to meet women is to make your dating life an extension of your social life.
Why Community and Social Groups Are Great For Dating
A community or social meetups are great because:
You can meet and talk to girls for a legitimate reason.
You get to know her without worrying about rejection.
There’s low social and psychological risk.
You work alongside people and become part of a community.
You’re part of the same tribe and already have something in common.
It’s less competitive than a room full of guys at a bar.
You get to show your attractive traits over more time.
She is in a less intimidating environment.
The environment doesn’t make her an intimidating, mysterious terrifying, sex goddess.
You become familiar and trusted, which is important to a girl for social safety.
Do more social events and make more friends. Get those friends to introduce you to their friends. The more you do, the more people you meet, and the more places you get invited and the more chances you have to meet someone you like.
Consider Where You Live
What city or town you live affects your situation. Simply moving to a better place can increase your success.
Smaller towns have less to do and fewer people. A girl’s values can be pumped up because of scarcity.
Larger cities have more events and people to meet but are more competitive because of the wealthier men. Find a place that has more advantages than disadvantages.
Consider the industries That Make Up the Area
Smaller cities are made up of the business that attracts people there. For example, a city might only have 50-year-old men who work in banking or oil and 40-year-old middle-aged girls who are nurses because that’s the only businesses out there.
Consider Girl-Guy Ratio The Right Way
Girl-guy ratio in a city is worth considering, but that stat alone isn’t everything. It can be skewed.
It factors in every girl living there including age groups you don’t want like 18 and below or 60 and above. It also factors in girls with cultures, preferences, or ethnicities you’re not interested in. Dig a little deeper.
Don’t Get Too Analytic
Don’t get too analytic about this. You shouldn’t be fussing over the difference in 1 or 2% in girl guy ratio between cities.
Use the OkCupid Method
A great way of finding out where is best is with OKcupid, a dating website.
Sign up and answer at least personality 100 questions. Complete your profile. It doesn’t take as long as you think.
Change your zip code to each of the major cities, set the radius to 50 miles. Your best city is the one with the most girls above a match % of 85%.
Answer more questions to get a more accurate reading. It asks questions about sexual preference, ideal mate, and everything else.
Figure out where your ideal woman goes and go there
This is the meat and potatoes of it. Reverse engineer it:
Picture where your ideal person goes. Think of her lifestyle, tastes, activities, and friends. What does she do for fun? Where does she spend time? Where does she go to meet a great guy? Go there.
Most people just randomly go places and wish it’s a fit. They’ll go to McDonald’s or a random bar, even though they have specific preferences for a girl.
If you want an ambitious, proper, busy woman, your chances are lower if you just go to a random, low-class bar. That’s like fishing in a lake with fish you don’t even want to catch.
List Out Where She Goes & Where She Would Go To Meet A Quality Guy
Ask girls in real life to get a more realistic picture of where they go. Your theories could be way off.
Facebook or Instagram kind of help but social media often gives a skewed picture. They often only post the highlight of their week or paint a false picture of their lives.
The Truth About The Best Places to Meet Women…
I wanted to give you examples of good places to meet women based on the reasons stated.
A lot of guys who do better than me with girls have told me “Women are everywhere if you just go outside and look around.” While that’s not really true if you live in a small town, understand the underlying message: Girls are abundant around the world.
Another great message I was told when I was struggling financially by an elderly woman was “Women aren’t going anywhere. Get your life together first.” The point is that women aren’t going to disappear so don’t freak out. (But don’t be so chill you waste all of your youth without realizing it.)
Volunteer at a community event
No-kill pet animal shelters
Park or beach cleanup groups
Amateur athletic events with a social component
Dance classes (great girl-guy ratio). Look for partner-oriented classes.
Arts themed events (great girl-guy ratio sometimes)
Improv classes (depends – sometimes isn’t that great)
Instrumental music or singing groups
Fitness classes (great to meet fit girls)
More interactive than other fitness things
Social groups that they hang in
Intramural co-ed sports league
Outdoor mountain trails
Breast cancer prevent
Local-education classes with great girl-guy ratios
Canoeing or White water rafting
Activist groups (progressive groups may be good for short-term dating/hookups)
Teach people – a great way of demonstrating your value and proficiency. Find something that allows you to legally pursue a student romantically.
Prep test tutoring
Conferences – Con: People are often just visiting so it probably won’t be long-term. Might be good for some short-term but might not if they’re all poor and sharing rooms.
Self-help like Tony Robbins
Niche conferences like Social Media Marketing World
Anime or video game (but prepare for a worse girl-guy ratio. May still be worth it with the volume)
This is not meant to be a complete, comprehensive list. There’s an infinite number of things. There’s many more conferences, classes, and forms of dance than what’s listed on here.
Simply use this as a model to brainstorm or take from.
Tips On Getting The Most Out Of Where You Go
Kill two birds with one stone. Go to a place that improves other areas of attraction such as your sense of humor, confidence, body language, and/or wealth, like a business charity event, self-help event like Tony Robbins, or an Improv class. Even if you don’t meet anyone, you still get value out of it.
Don’t ignore middle-aged or older women.They were once young and beautiful too. It’s great practice and they have younger daughters and friends.
Go somewhere you enjoy. You won’t have as much fun and people might sniff it out if you’re only going to meet people. If that doesn’t work, find some medium between what you like and what they like. Try new things: salsa dancing, rock climbing, etc.
Video game clubs or things with really high guy-girl ratios are bad because of the higher competition and the increased perceived value of the girl.
Try meetup.com. It’s a decent way of gauging the guy-girl ratio before attending with pictures and the RSVP form.
The Miracle Method: Online Dating
Just a few decades ago, most people never got farther than 100 miles than where they were born.
With transportation and online dating, you’re able to expand your chances. We live in a much more convenient world. Use it.
Advantages of online dating: Greater reach, Less work if you present yourself well, and an ability to ask out more people in a shorter time.
Disadvantages of online dating: Girls might be worse than they appear online, the hottest girls don’t use is because they don’t have to, and there’s more competition.
Having said that, there are plenty of girls who represent themselves right because they want a reliable date, there’s still decent girls, and you might be able to beat the extra competition because the average person is so bad on there.
Types of Online Dating
There are a number of different types of online dating websites and apps. Here are some to look at:
Adult friend finder
Short to long-term dating
Plenty of fish
Long term dating
Online Dating Tips
More advanced websites like OkCupid allows you to search and filter by height, ethnicity, education, income, body type, drug use, match %, dorkiness, or sexual interest. Use this to find better people.
Make sure your photos are all high-resolution photos. Never have selfies because it comes off like you have no friends and aren’t socially intelligent.
Your main profile photo should be a head shot with a genuine, warm smile.
Show your other attractive traits and proofs. Most guys don’t at all or only show 2 or 3.
The book Mate goes into detail on these but they include:
For people 21 and older, speed dating is a great option because:
There’s an equal guy-girl ratio
The venue is optimized for pleasant conversation
The event implies that both of you are looking
The 3 to 8 minutes are enough to get a gauge on people without wasting too much time
It’s structured to avoid approach anxiety or interruptions from rivals
Meeting Them Is The Beginning. Becoming An Attractive Man Is Also Important.
You may be surprised to know that the truth about meeting attractive girls is that it doesn’t automatically solve your problems.
Your dream girl meets flocks of men every day. Yet she rejects almost all of them because they are creepy, weird, too persistent, or lacking in an attractive trait. The book Mate by Tucker Max goes into a lot more detail on how to solve this issue.
I highly suggest you check it out to learn more. If you go through my link I will get a small commission if you buy. I only recommend books I have gone through myself and thoroughly reviewed.
Conclusion & My Own Advice
So far, everything I have said has been from the book. I tried my best to not add my own bias and opinions until this section. Now, here’s what I think:
Nightclubs and bars – I don’t like them but to say that you should never go might be too far. Many hot girls go there.
Like it or not, it’s just in the culture of things for people to go there occasionally.
Having said that, I get the point that you shouldn’t over-stretch yourself to go somewhere you really don’t enjoy. There was a clear point in this book that went against the pick-up artist’s advice of forcing yourself to dramatically change your personality to fit a nightclub scene.
Girls are just as clueless as guys sometimes. They don’t know where they should go to meet a quality guy. Sometimes, they’re just bumbling around in random places.
Now, I want to hear from you?
Did this help? Is there something missing? And most importantly, do you have any tips that worked that I did not mention? Letting us know in the comments will really help our community. Feel free to go into depth on what you did, and what results you got.
Outrage. Frustration. That feeling of wanting to help … only to be turned down.
That’s how I used to feel anytime I was trying to convince someone to start reading nonfiction books.
My problem: I realized how the right book could increase someone’s wealth, happiness, fulfillment, and freedom in life. Yet I never knew how to bring that across in a way that would actually get them to read.
When I realized others were struggling with this issue — I had to give my answer.
If you are someone who keeps trying to help people but get pushed away, today’s video is for you.
You will learn the remarkable way to get people interested and do what is in their best interests, without having to drag them to it.
I have go to say, even if you can convince people to do what will help them…
What you will learn in this video is extremely helpful when you’re connecting with any person at work, at home, or in your social life. You’ll learn the value of letting people do their own thing, and how to position yourself properly.
Once you have had a chance to watch, I would love to hear from you.
Do you ever feel like your need to help others has made you feel frustrated because they will not take the tremendous value you are giving for free? How do you deal with it?
For bonus points, who are some super successful people that you admire that are probably good at navigating this issue? Leave a comment and let me know.
Remember, share as much detail as possible in your reply. Many incredible, ambitious people come here every day for insight, knowledge, and inspiration. Your message might just change their lives.
Thank you for watching, sharing, and letting me be part of your universe.
I have wondered, “How did his business succeed when everyone else failed? How did he succeed? How can I learn from him?”
Recently, I learned just that. I read the awesome book The Everything Store, which details Jeff Bezos’s journey as he built Amazon.com into one of the world’s largest, most successful companies. It’s actually pretty accurate. The author interviewed hundreds of Jeff’s closest associates, including the man himself.
In this article, you’ll learn timeless strategies from a man who built an Internet company from nothing to one of the largest companies in the world in under 20 years. And he became the 5th richest person in the world by doing so.
1.Use The Regret Minimization Framework
This is a framework Jeff invented to decide whether to stay at his safe job or to start his company. He considered what he would regret the most on his death bed. He knew he would regret not taking a stab at the Internet, which was changing everything. He knew he wouldn’t regret staying at his job.
In the moment, you can overemphasize the importance of small things. But if you look at things in the long-term, you will see what matters most to you when you die.
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.
Almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.
Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” -Steve Jobs
2. Niche Down First To Grow
Bezos always had the plan to create a store that sold everything online. However, he did something very smart: He started by only selling books and dominating that category online.
This was very calculated. He mapped out a list of 20 different things he could sell including computers and CD’s. He started with books because they were a commodity that could be sourced from many places and were mainly published by two big publishers.
3. Investor Money Is Sometimes OK
I used to be really against getting investor money for most situations. I think it’s illogical to get that funding unless you need the cash or the business advice from the investor. Most people do this simply because they see everyone else doing it, they want to be on TV, or they think you make it once you get millions in funding.
Having studied the origin stories of Facebook, Apple, Walmart and Amazon.com more closely, I realize that there are situations where investor money is needed. And these companies support the reasons I just mentioned: if you need the money to grow or maintain your business and you need that investor’s mentorship.
In Amazon’s case, they needed the money to sustain and grow.
Note: if there’s no incredible urgency to grow, then you should be less inclined to accept investor money. Walmart took investor money in its early days because they were in a new, growing industry of discount retail and thus needed to take as much marketshare as soon as possible.
At the height of its growth, Walmart exhausted all forms of borrowing from banks and turned to going public as the last option to get the influx of cash it needed.
4. Set Big Goals Because You Just Might Reach Them… And Then Some.
Jeff set projections that he deemed reasonable. It was 1994. His company was on course to love over $300,000 that year. He told his investors that he projected that by 2000, they’ll get $60 million in sales if they did well and $100 million if they did really well. By 2000, they were doing $1 billion.
I really dislike overoptimistic projections. 99% of the time, it’s one of thousands of naive youngsters who underestimates the difficulty of business and is trying to sell how his idea will generate “billions of dollars.”
Having said that, Jeff is one of those practical exceptions. He told investors as well as friends and family that Amazon had a 70% of failure.
He set big goals and his projections were based on the volume of books and other goods he would sell. He was right.
When Jeff Bezos first pursued the idea of the Kindle, an eBook reader, he had ridiculous demands.
Before cell phone data usage was really a thing, he demanded that his designers created an eBook reader that could choose, buy, and download a book to read instantly from any location.
The designers complained back that it was impossible. In standard Jeff Bezos fashion, he responded, “I’m in charge of the business model. I’ll handle how it’s possible. I want it done. You’re the designer. Make it happen.”
This reminds me of Henry Ford and Steve Jobs.
According to Think and Grow Rich, Ford had ridiculous, impossible demands. He asked his engineers to create a car that was impossibly efficient. The engineers kept telling him it was impossible but he just told them that he wanted it done.
Eventually, it was made.
There seems to be a drive by great innovators to create impossible things despite discouragement from others.
Jeff made it a point to set a culture where you are always increasing the level of top talent, even back when he was a small start-up.
His method was to keep hiring increasingly better people to raise the bar. He would have high standards and go as far as asking for the applicant’s SAT score. That way, every new applicant compared himself to increasingly higher skilled employees.
He didn’t believe in work-life balance. So he looked for people who didn’t care about work-life balance and would gladly work a minimum of 60 hours a week. Those were outrageous standards, but he made it happen by finding people that fit this mold.
Jeff made sure to create a work culture and environment that encouraged less partying, less slacking off, and more time spent in the workplace.
He canceled a party for a milestone that was hit because he didn’t want the culture standard include partying for every milestone as he knew there were many more milestones they would hit in the future.
Since parking spots at work were limited, someone came up with the idea of Amazon paying for employee bus vouchers. Jeff disapproved it because he wanted people to stay at work and having a spot for their car encouraged them to stay.
Jeff said that Amazon will live or die by the quality of the engineers it hires. Because of the increasing standard for hiring, he replaced a lot of the original employees with betters ones overtime.
His promise was that if you stuck with the company, you would be rewarded. They were rewarded with the profits that Amazon eventually got but many employees were often still angry that they got replaced.
Throughout the history of Amazon, Jeff burned out a lot of top executives who left the company because they couldn’t handle working weekends and late hours. They wanted to spend more time with family.
This method seems a bit overboard to me. However, this may not be the whole story.
Jeff did surprise one of his partners during his 5 year anniversary at Amazon. He flew him and all his relatives to Hawaii for 3 days.
I think it’s important for employees to have some time to relax and take care of family. But it is true that you get ahead by working harder than others. Jeff intelligently solved the issue of employees burning out or hating the tough work hours by hiring only people who enjoyed what they did and wanted to help achieve his big vision.
6. Help Customers Make Better Buying Decisions
Jeff realized he could get ahead of his competitors, Borders and Barnes and Nobles, by having more online reviews for each book. He was the first to open it up to the public for reviews on books and products.
He had his employees write honest reviews to increase the count. Some of the employees were truly honest and gave bad reviews on books they read.
He got angry call from a big businessman saying that it was a stupid idea to discourage people to buy a book by having negative reviews.
Jeff completely disagreed. He said that he wasn’t in the business of selling. He was in the business of educating the customer to help them make better buying decisions.
I can’t say that this motto should or does apply to all industries and businesses.
But what you can take from this is that Jeff had the enviable position of being the supplier of the best product no matter what. Therefore, by being honest and letting customers know what sucks, he gained their trust and loyalty.
7. eCommerce Can Do Powerful Things Brick-and-Mortar Can’t
The internet allows businesses to do things that you just can’t do in person. There’s pros and cons to this.
The biggest pro is that you know a LOT more about a customer than you do offline. Jeff understood this and ran with it.
He significantly increased sales by creating an algorithm that recommended products based on your past purchases.
He set up an affiliate program that allowed anyone online to recommend Amazon products. If a sale was made, they would get a commission. This resulted in a billion dollar affiliate program.
The obvious weakness of the internet is that you can’t speak face to face with a customer that walks into your store and sell them on things. Having said that, eCommerce makes up for it with scalability, reach, and convenience.
I was reading an interesting story in the Power of Habit. Apparently, brick-and-mortar stores aren’t that far behind either. They know a LOT about you. To a creepy level.
They have sophisticated, database systems that will detect your shopping behavior before you’re even aware and send you coupons in the mail to draw you in.
For example, they got in trouble when they mailed a Dad coupons for baby items weeks before he found out his teen daughter was pregnant. Knowing a lot about your customer can help. But you have to be savvy enough to do it without pissing off your customers.
8. Everyone makes mistakes and that’s ok
Jeff wasn’t perfect. He invested and lost over $100 million in Internet businesses during the Dot Com Bubble. These included big internet websites like Pets.com
Amazon learned that they didn’t have enough bandwidth to deal with all these different businesses. They were better off doubling down on what’s working, which was Amazon.com
This correlates with what was said in Good to Great, a book that studied some of the most profitable success stories in business history. They found that these companies always had a set of core values that were clearly defined for all employees.
Jeff decided on these values early on. Since then, he’s slowly added to the list. You can view the latest version at https://www.amazon.jobs/principles and they’re called Amazon’s Leadership Principles now.
Some of the original ones included Ownership, Customer Obsession, a Bias for Action, and Frugality.
10. Be Frugal
It seems obvious but it’s not.
A great majority of businesses I examine aren’t very efficient or frugal with the money they spend. Every dollar should be properly examined and put to proper use.
However, I see a lot of naive business owners spend widely. I’ve seen it on TV Shows like Shark Tank and from many tech businesses in Silicon Valley. It angers me.
We’re talking horror stories like horrendously mismanaging and poorly spending $250,000 to millions and making no profit from it.
Jeff seems to be one of the few exceptions. In fact, he may be a little too harsh on it. In the book, Jeff is mentioned numerous times cutting any costs he can. He won’t let employees fly business class. He added an employee loyalty program to save money.
Apparently, he learned this from Sam Walton, one of the most successful businessman to live. Jeff loves Sam’s book Made in America. I love it too. It’s one of my favorite business books.
I think people get a skewed idea that rich people spend wildly because of the small percent of celebrities, musicians, or show-off’s who do. In the book The Millionaire Next Door, they did a study on all the millionaires out there.
They found that the majority of them were very frugal. They got there by spending less than they made. They had modest houses and cars.
I find that this is often also the case with billionaires. In the book, there’s a story where Jeff gets invited by the CEO of Walmart to meet for a big negotiation.
Now, Jeff is a cost-cutting machine. He won’t let employees fly business class and he packed top executives in a Holiday Inn, 2 people a room, for business trips.
Walmart’s also been known to be frugal. And it still was. They had lunch with Jeff at a Chili’s and paid for his hotel costs at a nearby Holiday Inn.
Note: I generally agree with this approach of saving money. But Brian Tracy has said that in negotiations, it’s better to wine and dine your guests. Perhaps, they knew Jeff was a frugal guy and didn’t care so they saved themselves money.
The point is that I’ve seen a lot of billionaires who are quite frugal and still are, including Warren Buffett who still drives a modest car, lives in a modest home, and eats McDonald’s everyday. And he’s worth over 60 billion.
Spend less than you make. It’s a simple key to wealth.
I can’t say everyone does this. Richard Branson, Bill Gates, and Mark Zuckerberg have huge mansions. But there’s a lot more billionaires outside of the limelight who are probably pretty frugal though.
Having said that, I think it should be noted that you don’t want to go too far with cutting costs. Sam Walton said that how you treat your employees will permeate to how your customers are treated.
If you do want to splurge a little, do it on things that show employees appreciate and give them what they want (maybe it’s employee benefits, maybe it’s more salary).
Don’t go overboard with it. In Dan Pink’s book Drive, we find that what motivates us effectively isn’t always money.
The high performers a top-notch company wants to attract aren’t motivated primarily by more salary. They look to meaning, purpose, and higher goals. Therefore, you can attract the wrong person or get diminishing returns when you pile on employee benefits and extra salary compensation.
An example would be Google. I think they’ve gone too far with the employee perks. They literally give their employees free buffets, massages, trains, day care, and almost everything you can name. But I’ve noticed that employees will still leave Google and it usually has nothing to do with money or benefits.
Even late into Amazon’s success, Jeff got angry when he found a TV installed in a room. He said it waste of money and a failure of communication within the company. He said he should have been told.
I definitely agree more with Jeff than millionaire tech entrepreneurs that spend frivolously on expensive things. He makes the businesses money go as far as possible by cutting needless costs. Having said that, I think he underestimates the value of spending a little more to take care of your customers.
11. Think of Crazy possibilities and try it out
Jeff did this multiple times.
The biggest example would be when he decided to create an infinite best-sellers ranking list. He realized newspapers cap out at a list of the Top 100 because they run out of paper.
He wanted to go infinitely because the Internet let him. It was a crazy idea because the database technology at the time couldn’t handle it, but he made it happen and it still exists to this day.
When eBay came in as a competitor, Jeff competed fiercely with his own auction technology. It ultimately failed and was morphed into a 3rd party seller platform, which was fairly successful.
In the process, the online auction market was given to eBay.
This reminds me of “Crazy Jack”, who founded the multi-billion dollar Chinese internet company Alibaba. I recommend the documentary Crocodile in the Yangtze to see how Jack pushed out eBay from China even though his company was the underdog.
Jack had his own crazy ideas. How he did it was kind of in the name of the documentary. Long story short, Jack gave away everything free for years and ate away at eBay’s market share.
“eBay might be a shark in the ocean. But Alibaba is a crocodile in the Yangtze. If we fight in the ocean, we lose. If we fight here in the river, we win.” -Jack Ma
Jeff took the leap from his safe 9-to-5 job because he would regret not doing it more than he would doing it and failing. Image by Donkey Hotey. No changes made. License link
12. Always Put The Customer First
Jeff has a golden principle of always putting the customer first.
I’ve heard many billionaires say something similar.
In the 2016 Annual shareholder meeting I watched Warren Buffett said “Generally speaking, if you take care of your customer, they will take care of you.”
When he says, they’ll take care of you, it means you’ll make a lot of money in return over time.
Jeff continued to see how he could provide greater service to the customer in the long run. He was so glued to this that Amazon wasn’t turning a profit in the short term for years. He managed to add in “free shipping with any total order value of $100+” and reduce it all the way to $25.
The other executives were pressured by the investors to turn a quarterly profit, but Jeff wasn’t disturbed. I agree with Jeff. Why should you care at all what random “investors” and big investing companies think? They will abandon you the moment your stock looks a bit bad. You should care about the long-term profitability of your business.
Jeff made it a point to always think of how the customer would benefit from a new product or idea. Every task and manufacturing and fulfillment was considered with the question of “how will this bring value to the customer?”
Jeff was so adamant about putting customers first that one time, he yelled at a top executive for emailing a customer promotions about sexual ointment and embarrassing the customer.
He screamed, “We can become a $100 Billion company without sending a fucking email!”
While Amazon relied on a lot of data and metrics, Jeff was often willing to move heaven and earth because of one customer complaint because it spelled a bigger problem.
After a bit of discussion, they ended up completely ending the email marketing campaigns for many big departments, such as healthcare products, because of that one customer complaint email.
13. Don’t be Pressured by Investors or Stock Prices. Be in it for the long term.
The stock market is a voting machine in the short term and a weighing machine in the long term.
This is something Warren Buffett and his mentor Ben Graham have constantly voiced.
In the short term, your company’s stock price will be all sorts of crazy high and low prices because of the euphoric, ignorant nature of the media and general public.
In the long term, your stock price will rise if you take care of your customer, maintain and grow the value of your company, and maintain profitability.
Most people think long term means in a couple years and short term is minutes, days, or weeks.
In reality, short term could stretch up to several years. Long term is 10+ years.
In the book, Jeff tried to remain cool as a cucumber despite the media, stock analysts, and even his own employees going crazy over daily fluctuations of stock price and new announcements of earnings or loses for the quarter.
He was really good at it for years, but he eventually caved from the pressure of stock analysts to make money. He was losing money and started slowly pushing up the price of some of his products.
That was until he met James Sinegal.
James is the founder of Costco, one of the underrated, overlooked business successes in recent times. Sinegal was even around when Sam Walton was growing Walmart to be the giant it was.
He even declined Sam’s offer to buy Costco.
James taught Jeff some great lessons that he carried with him from them on.
The first big one is to be in it for the long term. James wanted to work for Costco until he died. There was no “exit strategy” for him.
I’ve realized a lot of billionaires are the same way, while many millionaires (especially from Silicon Valley) are short-term focused on “exit strategies.” This basically means that you’re trying to build a million dollar business mainly to sell it and make a lot of money. That’s pretty much saying that you don’t enjoy your business and you want to get out of it as soon as possible for the money.
I thought this was really stupid and a huge mistake to why anyone should start a business. You’re not going to have the passion to make it through if you’re looking at it that way.
You need a stronger motivation than money to get through the tough time.
Embrace Low Margins
Have you ever heard a person brag that he has a “7 figure” or “$100,000” business?
But in reality, they’re talking about revenue. After they pay for expenses and employees, they’re left with not much money. I hate it when people lie.
That’s why a lot of people prefer “high-margin businesses.” That means the cost to sell a product is so much lower than the price that you’re actually making most of your revenue.
Jeff Bezos went the other way; he says that every business will become low margin as competitors come in to compete with you. He says you should embrace low margins and start lowering price. This will help the customers and bring more of them to you.
Costco made almost all of its money from its annual membership fees. They have almost no profit margins on all the stuff it provides.
By doing this, they give such great products for such affordable prices that they become the #1 undisputed place to go. They get cheaper prices from suppliers because of this and customer loyalty.
Costco is probably one of the most successful, but overlooked subscription service successes in history.
I don’t know if all businesses work like that. Some mass-scale businesses like Amazon and Costco definitely do, but what about luxury brands? A premium priced product may play a different game with its own rules.
14. Copy What’s working Legally and Shamelessly
James Sinegal taught Jeff something else that was echoed by Sam Walton in his autobiography, Made in America.
Sam said something similar. He said all of his great ideas were copied from other people.
Now, people have a different perspective on copying. I’ve seen entrepreneurs and artists on Youtube who refused to copy any ideas for moral reasons.
I totally understand and applaud your ethics.
But if it’s legal to copy them, and it’s clear it’s a great idea, you will be stupid not to.
Sam Walton was running a convenience store when he saw discount retailers like Target sweep into his area. He knew that if he didn’t start his own discount retailer, they would run him out of business.
He saw the future and didn’t fight or get mad at the economics of the situation. He joined them.
Plus, there are people out there who have no ethics and are blatantly already copying you right now. You’re going to have to compete with these people.
Rather than waste your time arguing or fighting people who will copy you, you need to get it out of your head that copying is always wrong.
This is especially true when it’s legal for them to copy your business structure or model. Patents can help with this. The billionaires who created GoPro and Spanx both credited patenting as a big part of this.
It’s one of protecting your uniqueness and advantage.
You have to be innovating and doing unique stuff too. Sam was the first to start researching and using satellites in his company.
He saw the future and he was right.
Satellite communication put him a decade ahead of his competition.
He also bought a one-seat airplane and would fly over large regions. From up high, he could see where populations clustered and where the best places to build Walmarts were. No one else did this.
Sam did a hybrid of both. He did new things. He also would relentlessly monitor his competition to copy or do things better. He would go into their stores and take notes on what they did.
15. You Don’t Have To Be Perfect
Read this carefully so it doesn’t get misinterpreted:
I specifically mean that you don’t have to have decided already on your passion when you were a little kid.
I think we look at geniuses like Mozart or Warren Buffett and assume that we already lost because they had developed their gift from an early age.
If you want to play at the top 1% of the 1% in sports, music, or business, it certainly helps. But Jeff Bezos proves that this isn’t necessarily the case.
Jeff was still trying to figure out what he wanted to do for a while. He was really into space and science fiction. He still is. He loved Star Trek.
He studied electronic engineering.
Jeff worked as an employee for years in a stock market company. He learned business through the company rather than through business school. It took him a while to get into business for himself and learn.
As the book details, he made a lot of mistakes. Probably the biggest that kept popping up was his failure to retain top level executives as employees. A close runner-up was his inability to praise people for great work often enough.
Don’t overwork your employees or push them to work so hard that they leave the company. Jeff had dozens, if not hundreds, of executives leave over the years. It seemed like most of them gave politically correct answers for why they left without revealing anything. There seemed to be a common premise of “more time with the family” though.
Jeff believed in no work-life balance. 80 hour weeks were a norm. I can’t say Amazon has really changed anything about their culture yet based on what I’ve heard from employees.
Praise employees profusely when they deserve it. Jeff didn’t seem to be good at praising employees for great work. I think Warren Buffett and Sam Walton are 2 people who do this very well. Read Warren’s shareholder letters or Sam’s book Made in America. Both of them only praise when people deserve it. But when they do, it’s detailed, specific, and it calls them out by name to a wide audience. Saying the name of the person you praise is really important.If you can’t even remember the manager’s name, it makes the praise ingenuine.
Jeff honestly made a ton of mistakes. See the Conclusion section of this article for more. But he clearly had personality issues. He had outbursts, called executives idiots, and lacked empathy with employees. He didn’t seem to praise people enough.
Perhaps he’s learned and improved from those mistakes over the years.
What I do know is that he has definitely succeeded despite not doing things perfectly.
16. have great Role Models
Jeff’s childhood friend said:
“If you want to know why Jeff is successful, just look at his mother.”
Jeff Bezos’s mother was a hustler. She pushed really hard for Jeff to get into a gifted school when he was first rejected.
She ended his job cleaning Gerbil cages because his boss was pulling Jeff out of school to talk about her personal issues.
Jeff’s mom really fueled him to work really hard and become valedictorian of his school. He took on many honors level courses and won many science and math competitions.
Jeff’s friend said:
“Once Jeff decided to become valedictorian, everyone else was competing for #2.”
Jeff had a reputation of being so hard working that he would get what he wanted. The other classmates resigned trying to get the #1 class rank after he decided on it.
Find a great role model to model yourself after and learn after. Choose carefully.
17. Be Willing To Do What Your Workers Do
Jeff was more than willing to step in and do the handy work of the people in fulfillment or manufacturing if he had to.
When Amazon was working at its maximum capacity, he often had to step in himself to get the highest impact results.
As Napoleon Hill said, great leaders must be willing to do what his followers do. Otherwise, his followers will cease to follow him.
18. Move On From Tests That Fail
Jeff’s big goal was always to become an “everything store.” This meant that he wanted an online store that sold and shipped anything you could possibly buy.
During his journey, he ended up finding products that just weren’t a great fit for online shopping.
One time, he tried to get into jewelry. He and his team spent an incredible amount of time negotiating with manufacturers, designing jewelry boxes, and getting things just right.
He even had a free custom diamond and ring selection tool on his website.
Ultimately, it failed. People wanted to still go in person to wear, test out, and buy jewelry.
Jeff was fairly quick in packing things up, removing the tool from his website, and moving on to testing other products like shoes and apparel.
When he saw a losing proposition, he was quick to recognize it and move on rather than stubbornly wasting time and money.
This is more of an art than a science. How d o you know if something will always be a losing proposition or is something that you just haven’t persevered long enough to crack? I can’t say I know the answer. I do know that Steve Jobs and the Wright Brothers factor in your love and passion to get something right no matter how long it takes.
Google is also an example of a company that’s fairly fast at moving on and pivoting. When they created the social network Google Plus and the tech glasses Google Glass, there was so much hype.
They put a lot of investment money into it, but if they succeeded, profits would have well made up for it.
Both ultimately failed and they were moderately fast and recognizing it to pack things up and move on.
Honestly, they could have been faster with Google Plus. But it’s still not bad for such a large company.
I remember being told by people with millions of followers on Google Plus and social media experts directly in comments that “Google Plus is not a dead platform. You’re just not using it right.”
I had a gut feeling that they were wrong. The hundreds of young adults that I interacted with in the real world clearly had a lukewarm feeling about the platform.
I ended up wasting a lot of time on there and now, it’s clearly a dead platform. There’s a lot of jokes made about it. I overheard one just the other day.
I’m starting to think that the general public of youth is a great gauge on what’s actually working and what’s not online. There’s jokes being made constantly about Bing, but Snapchat is actually a serious thing. People actually use this constantly and I see it in real time.
19. Eliminate bottle necks
A great book was used as a centerpiece for Amazon’s manufacturing and fulfillment. It’s called The Goal: A Process for Ongoing Improvement by Eliyahu Goldratt.
One of the main point is to identify the bottleneck and spend as much as you can to eliminate it. A bottleneck is a part of a process that holds up everyone to wait for it because of how slow or limited it can do things.
An example would be a factory machine that works really slow with thousands of workers ready to do work behind it. Even though there’s all this capacity behind the machine, the machine is going so slow that all those workers aren’t being put to use.
Another example would be a traffic jam caused by an accident. The limited amount of roads to move through around the accident act as a bottleneck to slow things down.
Amazon used this process to utilize a ton of its maximum capacity that was rarely being put to use.
20. Your success comes from your interests
Jeff let Steve Jobs take a large percent of the music industry market share from him. He was in negotiations with Steve for sometime of Amazon-Apple music store, but things fell apart because Steve wanted it to be a seamless, easy-to-use program while Amazon wanted something as part of their “everything web store.”
Over the years, Apple dominated the music industry with iTunes. When examining Steve’s and Jeff’s lives, you realize that it makes sense.
Steve lived and breathed music. He listened to the Beatles and other great singers. He even dated a singer.
Steve also took a typography class in college out of interest, even though he didn’t see any application of the skill in his future. Decades later, that typography class came into great use in the design of the letters for the keyboard.
Jeff, on the other hand, didn’t know a thing about music. He once grabbed albums indiscriminately from a store as if they all were the same. What he did love was books. He would mark and take notes on almost every page of a book. He lived and breathed books. It made sense that Amazon succeeded by first selling only books.
21. High profit margins attract competition that drives margins down
Jeff Bezos believed that high profit margin businesses should be avoided because it simply attracted a lot more competitors because of the margins. This caused more competition that ate away at your market share and margin.
He illustrates this with companies like Microsoft and the mobile phone industry.
Jeff was more along the lines of the Walmart model of low margins and high volume. He believed in developing customer loyalty to get people to return again and again.
22. It’s better to clean out what’s going obsolete yourself than have your competitors do it
“It’s better to cannibalize yourself than let your competitors do it.”
What this means is that you must recognize and acknowledge that an industry is going obsolete. And make it a point to take yourself out of that business as soon as possible before competitors do it for you.
A great example would be the horse carriage industry after cars were invented.
Amazon did this when they realized that digital books were the future. They saw how fast iTunes took over the music industry from its previous brick-and-mortar fashion. They knew that they had to move fast before a competitor took over the eBook industry.
Richard Branson has admitted similar stuff. He said in his books that one of his big mistakes was not moving out of the music industry fast enough. He let the internet and digital world negatively affect his record company.
In the book, Amazon also pointed to Kodak. Kodak invented digital cameras and used to be the front runner in the field. They were unwilling to innovate and risk money on new ideas. Soon, they fell way behind and became a horrible business.
23. Question How The Best Do Things
While it’s often very useful to get better by learning from masters, you sometimes get to a point where it’s time for you to innovate and come up with even better strategies.
Jeff Bezos questioned the way that some well-known juggernaut companies, like Walmart or Microsoft, did things.
He saw that they were often intimidating, crushed the little guy, and didn’t have a fan base that would stick up for them.
He wrote a memo on the website Amazon.love (it’s gone now) about what he thought actually made a company cool. You can read it below:
“Rudeness is not cool.
Defeating tiny guys is not cool.
Close-following is not cool.
Young is cool.
Risk taking is cool.
Winning is cool.
Polite is cool.
Defeating bigger, unsympathetic guys is cool.
Inventing is cool.
Explorers are cool.
Conquerors are not cool.
Obsessing over competitors is not cool.
Empowering others is cool.
Capturing all the value only for the company is not cool.
Leadership is cool.
Conviction is cool.
Straightforwardness is cool.
Pandering to the crowd is not cool.
Hypocrisy is not cool.
Authenticity is cool.
Thinking big is cool.
The unexpected is cool.
Missionaries are cool.
Mercenaries are not cool.” – Jeff Bezos
Jeff admitted that his memo and statements were rather opinionated rather than based on facts or studies.
I wouldn’t take these statements as rules, but there’s definitely some truth to them. A good portion of them directly reflect the sentiment of how I think customers perceive big companies.
The most useful thing I got from this list is to don’t manipulate, be too robotic, or be win-lose through pandering, crushing smaller people, being too transactional, being rude, or being too corporate and predictable.
Conclusion & My Review of the Book
I don’t know how accurate this book was about Jeff Bezos’s story.
I trust that it’s fairly accurate though because it was based on hundreds of interviews of former and current employees, including Bezos himself. Of course, there’s always going to be some bias in there from the author.
I was really surprised by what I discovered in the book.
I thought the creation of Amazon and how Jeff Bezos behaved would have been near perfect just by the reputation of the company.
It turns out you can make a lot of mistakes and still do well. Jeff was often rude and impatient. He had tons of outbursts. He seemed a bit too frugal with everything. He called top executives idiots and useless when they did stupid things. He burned out hundreds of executives from overwork.
One might mistakenly infer that this is the best way of doing things if one just reads this book. Having read and studied a lot of billionaires, I don’t think this is the case.
If you study Sam Walton or Warren Buffett, they truly demonstrate the power of appreciating and taking care of their employees. They weren’t naturally doing this either. They were also both frugal and learned it the long, hard way.
There was one passage about how Amazon installed medal detectors, hired a security team, and installed a negative point system to avoid shoplifting.
Having seen a ton of employee theft myself over the years at different jobs, I have realized that it’s almost natural for everyone to steal when it’s very easy and a ton of temptation. But purely focusing on negative reinforcement to discourage this may not be the best way of going.
To decrease employee theft, the best thing I have come across was from Sam Walton’s book. He explains human nature very well and mentions a system that really saved his business a lot of money, while reducing theft. He says that people don’t really want to do bad things if they can help it. He added a positive, reward program that gave people cash if the numbers showed that they didn’t steal for that week. Even with the extra cash they gave out, Walmart still saved money from the decrease in theft.
I learned a lot about business and the awesome things Jeff Bezos did. There’s a lot that he does very well that we can all use to succeed ourselves.
I really liked how recent the book was. I read this in 2016 and it was published in 2013. Other than Oprah or Richard Branson’s book, this was probably the most modern book by a billionaire that I’ve read.
It’s a bit different when you’re reading about a business or era that is very different since it was so long ago. It’s the first time where I keep hearing about stuff that is still very relevant today, like Microsoft, eBook, Nooks, one-day shipping, and Amazon Prime. It’s interesting seeing all the business, legal fights, and politics behind the curtain.
Jeff still has a lot of life to live. I don’t think his journey is over in the least.
Just look at Warren Buffett. He’s 85 years old and still doing incredible things.
Jeff still has a deep interest in space exploration and will probably do something with that. I’m excited to see the rest of his story unfold.
I think this book needed to be written. It told a great story of Amazon’s beginnings to where it is not in an easy-to-read fashion. Hopefully, another book will be written 20 years from now detailing his future journey.
But there’s also a time when copying should be done:
When you’ll be left behind by the competition if you don’t.
When you know it’s better for the consumer to make your product this way.
When it’s perfectly legal to do so (therefore, you should not copy when there’s a patent or it’s a song).
Sam Walton didn’t start Walmart initially. He ran a convenience store. Then, he saw all the other convenience stores go out of business when discount retail stores started coming in. He could’ve moped and complained like everyone else while he watched himself go out of business. But he started his own discount retail store instead.
I’m not saying it’s right at all for a relative to rip off your idea behind your back. I think that belt guy will rightfully face some consequences from his family because of his dirty actions. It shows how low self-esteem he is that he can’t come up with his own idea that he’d steal from his family.
What I am saying is that business can be cut-throat and you need to expect that someone will copy you. I’ve discovered a lot of successful CEOs, like the billionaire Martha Stewart, has said that she never cries over money or business. It’s not something to feel like you’re wronged. When you screw up and lose money, you assess what you did wrong, learn, and try again. Sitting around crying does you no good.
It was a dick move for that guy’s cousin to copy the belt design… but someone would have copied him eventually. In fact, many people will copy you. To sit around and complain about it for too long on the Internet is a waste of time. It implies that you haven’t considered the possibility that new competitors will come in and copy you.
Literally every industry has been like this. Where there’s money to be made, competitors will emerge.
China is rampant with copying:
They’ve made copycats of the iPhone.
They’ve made their version of Google called Baidu, which dominates.
They have their own WhatsApp-type service called WeChat.
Rather than complain or freak out if someone copies you, you should consider doing what Warren Buffett suggests:
“In business, I look for economic castles protected by unbreachable moats.”
What the heck does that mean?
A moat is basically your competitive advantage. Buffett suggests that you should be looking to increase that advantage everyday. Apple is generally unphased by the Chinese knock-off products because:
They’ve build a ton of brand loyalty and recognition. Something that performs the exact same will be passed over for one with an Apple logo.
They’re constantly staying on the cutting edge of new technology. Rather than only being the reactive copycat, they’re always coming out with something new.
Copying isn’t anything new. Microsoft copied the iPod with the Zune and stole parts of their graphic user interface from Apple. Google tried to copy Facebook with Google Plus (and failed).
Facebook Ripped Off Twitter’s Periscope Too
If you weren’t plugged into social media news, Periscope used to be the hottest thing ever during the start of 2016.
Well, kinda. I think it was a bit over-hyped and it seemed like it was mainly marketers and adults with online followings who wanted to get “ahead of the curve” who used it.
…And around May 2016, Facebook really went serious with Live video and then stole the emoticon feature.
Will It Work Or Will It Flop?
I don’t know. Research has shown that expert predictions in most fields (from economics to finance) tend to be wrong so I’ll keep my predictions to a minimum.
I will say this:
The Periscope copy was more subtle and something they could (and seemed to) get away with. And the potential was clearly huge: I literally see girls my age glued to Facebook all day. They’ve never heard of Periscope. By simply adding a Periscope-like feature to the Facebook mobile app, they’ve got the best of every world:
Individuals have a pre-existing following of their family and friends to spread their Facebook Live video too.
These set up Facebook to stamp out possible reasons for Periscope to exist and take over market share (Periscope still has the “discover people by location” option as one of its unique features though. But they do seem to have lost quite a bit of ground other the other big fronts.)
As far as the Snapchat copycat… That’s may be another story because Snapchat is considered one of the big social media platforms already. And this type of blatant copying is a slap to Snapchat’s face. They’re not even trying to hide at all the fact that they copied.
I’m wondering how the people at Snapchat HQ are reacting to this right now.
Arguably, it may be similar to when Google Plus came out or when Facebook copied Twitter by allowing status updates. But maybe bigger. I don’t know.
It’s interesting to see how it’ll progress. Will Snapchat file a lawsuit? Will they have to rescind this or will they still get to keep this feature even after a long, drawn-out lawsuit? It’s clear that Instagram is going for a similar strategy of “take their features and build it on our pre-existing social media infrastructure to allow for more discovery.”
I personally like this change. Things were starting to slow down a bit in the social media world. Snapchat seemed to be (or may still be) at the height of its popularity. It was getting old for me.
I like a new change. Plus, it’s arguably more convenient for some of us. We might be able to just build a following on Instagram rather than having to build one on Snapchat AND Instagram.
The fact that it’s basically an exact clone could make it less appealing though. If it simply does everything Snapchat does, then what’s the point? It’s not adding anything new and there might not be much of an appeal. I’m curious to see how followers engage with this new feature. If it’s good, it could do well.
In the book Rework, the author said that if you’re simply copying, you can never be #1 because you’ll always be a reactive clone at best that’s just like somebody else. In fact, Instagram Stories is currently a worse version than the original right now because it doesn’t have any of Snapchat’s iconic face filters (which are obviously harder to copy) or any filters at all yet.
An article by Next Web argued that it’s better because it makes it clearer for tech savvy adults who aren’t into social media, which helps them understand Snapchat easier. First off, I don’t think those people are even on Instagram – Insta isn’t that straightforward. And the features they say make it easier are stuff like “a button that says Submit rather than just an arrow.” Minor stuff.
I’m excited to see what the future holds but I really have no idea. I’m just guessing. But this is definitely an interesting year for tech and social media businesses with Virtual Reality and all this other stuff.
What do you think about all this?
P.S. It wasn’t just Zuckerberg behind this. Facebook has thousands of employees. I’m sure it was a multi-person decision to do this.
Social media is an incredible way of marketing and making more money for your business. If you do it right.
After spending a decade studying it and consuming thousands of hours of content across very old (MySpace) and very new (Musically, Snapchat, Vine, Peach, etc.) platforms, here’s what I’ve found:
When you boil it down, there are the only a few things that social media does for a business at its core:
1. Social Media Amplifies How You Treat Your Customers
Just a few decades ago, if a business pissed you off, you might might tell a couple friends or family. Now, that customer can tell 500 friends on Facebook, 5,000 on Twitter, or 100,000 on YouTube. You don’t know who’s walking into your store.
In the same way, if a business delighted you by going above and beyond, you might have told your mom and maybe two friends in the past. Now, you can instantly tell hundreds (or millions of people).
Here’s an example of amplification in a good way:
Let’s say you own an Airlines business like Virgin Airlines.
You can do good to your airlines customers and surprise them with a care package and free massage. -> It goes viral and reaches millions of people.
Here’s an example of amplification in a bad way:
You cheat a customer or mistreat them as they board the plane and someone catches it on their phone who then uploads it to Youtube and Reddit. It goes viral, reaches millions of people and makes people swear off your company. (Stuff like this has actually happened with Airlines and postal delivery companies)
This happened less than 24 hours ago from writing this. Someone from Time Warner did a HORRIBLE job installing cable. It was captured onto Youtube and has already achieved 687,716 views.
A customer upgraded his room for a Holland America cruise for $600. He got a noisy repairman screeching by his window. He uploaded a video on YouTube just explaining his story and showing the noise. It got millions of views within 24 hours.
Getting such a high amount of views is a rare, extreme instance but smaller versions of this are occurring all the time.
It’s easier and faster than ever to share your thoughts with a few taps on a phone to thousands of people.
Even if a great or bad customer experience doesn’t go viral and reach millions, it could still reach hundreds or thousands in your local area, which is still huge.
You never know how many followers the next customer that walks into your door has.
He or she could have 1,000 reach or 10,000 reach or 10 million reach. It’s a wise idea to really take care of your customer as it matters even more in this era. The rapper Iggy Azalea had 5+ million Twitter followers. She went on a 30+ tweet rampage about how bad her pizza delivery service was because her phone number got leaked to the whole world from the delivery man.
More and more internet services have come onto the market to make customer awareness even better. Yelp.com has allowed people to truly understand the average customer experience of all local restaurants through their rating system online. In the past, people relied on 1 to 5 people telling them how they liked eating somewhere. Now, they can reference 100+ people who voted and left a review on Yelp.
In the past, people found out about new restaurants in their local area through fliers, billboards, mail, word-of-mouth, and maybe commercials. Now, it’s hard to miss something since you can literally do a geography search of your local area on Yelp and sort by average rating.
The Internet and technology have changed so many industries and will continue to. Uber has become one of the largest transportation companies in the world buy owns no cars. AirBnB does a similar thing with houses. Amazon and Youtube have changed the delivery, retail, education, and entertainment space. It’s far beyond my understanding to tell you exactly how these companies did it. But I do know that we live in a very interesting time.
Is this a good thing?
I’ve talked to a few small business owners and they usually say it’s a bad things because one false negative review on Yelp can destroy a business. Also, there’s the issue of disproportionate bad press. When you have tens of thousands of employees at Amazon, is it right that one bad egg gets millions of views of negative coverage?
Although there are issues like this, I think it’s overall a good thing. It encourages businesses do what they should be doing: always seeking to delight your customers rather than not give a crap.
Even in this day and age there are businesses that just don’t care. In the last couple years, I’ve experienced horrific customer experiences with my local gas station, my cable company’s phone customer service, and a car repair place. There is definitely room to get ahead and those who will might get rewarded more for it now.
I think if you hold true to over-delivering, one or two false reviews can’t replace the truth. And as you get bigger, someone with influence will eventually talk about it.
2. Social Media Can Act As A Channel For Customer Service
People aren’t going to take 20 minutes out of their day to drive to an insurance business to learn about car insurance when they can learn more instantly by Googling it.
Similarly, people would rather send a quick tweet at Pizza Hut for a failed delivery or Netflix for a tech glitch. It’s up to you to decide how fast and high quality your response is.
3. Social Media Can Help You Find New Customers Online through search or social referral.
People can find you on social media or the Internet through search engines. If they search “great exercises for knee pain”, you can be the highest ranking Youtube video or Google result and capture new prospects for your fitness or chiropractic service.
Youtube and Google are the top search engines in the world. There’s very little competition (on the western hemisphere) for the time being on other search engines, other than Yahoo, Vimeo, and Bing. They’re really far ahead and expanding their competitive advantage.
What’s important to you is to know that Google and Youtube are the most visited websites in the entire world and will continue to be for at least the next 3 years.
That’s a lot of potential traffic that can be driven to your business.
What social media does is also allow people to find you through social sharing, virality, and social referral. They all kind of mean the same thing: it’s really easy to click a button and share a video, photo, or article you’ve read with your one hundred or ten thousand followers.
It’s a great way of new people to find out about you. For Instagram and Facebook, I also see a lot of individual social referral. It’s kind of like one-on-one word of mouth referral from days past. They see something they really like and tag their friend into the conversation so that they’re aware. I see this a lot.
4. Develop and cultivate the relationship with your fans and prospects so that they know, like, and trust you more and more.
This is one of the most underlooked things that social media can do for a business.
If you really capture them and intrigue them with your content, they will binge watch what you already have. If you already have a library of uploaded videos, photos, or articles, you can slowly keep giving free value and show off your personality until they really trust you and know who you are. I personally have 600+ Public Youtube videos on my self-development channel that people can binge watch.
If they relate, they will buy from you. People buy from people rather than corporations. That’s why personalities help. There are over 2,000 Youtube channels with at least 1 million subscribers on each. That numbers growing every day. The #1 most subscribed had 43 million and growing. Many of these channels are self-made and run by young people.
Many also function like TV channels in their own special, down-to-earth way. They generate so much viewership that they make their money through ads, commercials, and sponsorships similar to how a TV show does.
The top YouTube channels don’t have to sell their own products because they make enough off ads. Youtube has created a monetizable marketplace that has attracted a lot of competition because they have lowered the barrier to entry for someone to start so much. There’s so much incentive to begin.
Because of that, it’s gotten pretty competitive and it often works a bit like a Hollywood style infrastructure where a majority of the creators on there aren’t making much but the successful make sometimes millions a year. It’s very similar to the acting industry: many aspiring actors working as waiters to get by while a small percent who are thriving. A blog, Youtube channel, Facebook page, or Instagram page can function as a way of getting people to binge watch all your content and really see if they trust you and relate enough to buy or become a raving fan.
How To Make Great Content on Social Media That Other People Want To Follow and Share
That brings us to the question of how do you make great content? This is something most businesses get deeply wrong.
I wish I could say this was easy or simple, but it’s hard. Honestly, there’s often a mixture of talent, luck, creativity, being unique, persistence, and hard work altogether. And even then, it won’t always work.
It’s sometimes kind of like asking how to become a great comedian. There are so many people you are competing with. You have to stand out in a unique way. Plus, many platforms on social media have their own unique voice, inside language, and style that you have to adopt or it just won’t work well.
Plus, many platforms on social media have their own unique voice, inside language, and style that you have to adopt or it just won’t work well.
For example, Youtube has a really short attention span audience generally speaking. Unless you really produce INCREDIBLE content, people zone out. That’s why ideal video lengths are usually between 3 and 12 minutes long. Those are what usually do best on there.
Musical.ly, another newcomer social platform (that I think is just a fad), has its own style similar to that of Vine. You have to have a bit of a swagger on it. There is a lot of somewhat fancy camera movement many of the stars on there do to sync with the music they lip sync to.
I thought it was a rather dumb app (and still kind of do), but cannot help but to acknowledge that some of the top stars got 7 to 10 million followers on there within a year. And these people were self-made with no following before that.
What’s even crazier is that the best ones were able to translate 15 to 30% of that following to other platforms effectively like Youtube, Twitter, and Instagram. For the average eye, that might seem like much. But to the trained eye, that is huge. It’s been notoriously hard to transfer followers across platforms. This is based on me studying thousands of people over the years.
Those numbers are high above industry standards. Only some of the top most followed people on Youtube or Vine like Pewdipie, Markiplier, or Nash Grier have been able to effectively do it. So that brings us back to this question. There are thousands of hours of Youtube video that are being uploaded every second online. Most of it goes unwatched. How do you make incredible content that people actually care about? 99.9% of great content falls into 3 main categories: Entertainment, How-to/information, and Emotional relation Think of any video, article, photo, or anything else you’ve seen online. It falls into one of those categories.
We watch a prank on Youtube because it’s funny and entertaining. We look at fitness videos to learn how to do things. And a pregnant woman might watch a lady crying about how tough it is to be pregnant online to relate. What ties all of these together is value. People won’t just do what you want of them unless they get value in some form in exchange. They won’t watch your content or read your stuff or look at your photos if it’s not valuable in at least 1 of these 3 ways in a considerable way. That’s why most businesses who first start dabbling with social media fail. You look at their Youtube channel and they’ve posted only 9 videos and all 9 were 2 minute videos that were 100% non-valuable. All they said in the videos were “BUY MY PRODUCT!” or “Buy my stuff!” No one cares or would want to watch this. It’s not rocket science why you only have 2 subscribers and 5 views. Most likely those were spam followers too.
If you look at their Youtube channel, they’ve posted only 9 videos and all 9 were 2 minute videos that were 100% non-valuable. All they said in the videos are “BUY MY PRODUCT!” or “Buy my stuff!” No one cares or would want to watch this.
People don’t turn on TV to only watch commercials. Why would they subscribe to your channel if all the content on there are ads?
It’s not rocket science why you only have 2 subscribers and 5 views. And most likely those were spam followers too.
Almost a year ago, I was at a huge restaurant and you could tell they went through hundreds of Heinz ketchup bottles a day.
It was pretty busy. I checked out the label of a bottle and there was valuable real estate on each label that told people to follow them on social media. They listed all their platforms.
I checked out their Vine account. It had a hundred followers and a single lackluster 6 second video.
A year later, I was back there, and again, I saw how fast they went through Ketchup bottles. The labels on the bottles was probably being shown to thousands of people a week.
Guess how much that real estate worked?
I checked their Vine again and it still had the same one video on there and nothing new. A very small percentage of people would be incentivized to even want to go to your social media page if you don’t have something valuable to give them for doing so (like a coupon code or anything). Asking is just not enough.
And you’re just disappointing them even more if they get there and you realize it’s a ghost town that hasn’t been updated in over a year. I would have removed that social media icon on the labels because it was costing them valuable real estate to put it there and probably extra ink costs. It was clear that they were manufacturing tens of thousands of bottles like that a day. Instead, I would have double downed on producing incredible content on one platform and really got the real estate on the label right and made sure people were converting. Then, I would have put out more and more great content. It’s just an idea.
I would have removed that social media icon on the labels because it was costing them valuable real estate to put it on the label and probably extra ink costs. It was clear that they were manufacturing tens of thousands of bottles like this a day. Instead, I would have double downed on producing incredible content on one platform and really got the real estate on the label right and made sure people were converting to followers. Then, I would have put out more and more great content.
Anyhow, I hope you got something valuable out of this. To summarize, social media for businesses, at it’s core, only does 1 of these things: 1. Great customer service 2. Amplify good or bad interactions and experiences with customers 3. Capture new prospective customers and fans through social referral (tagging or sharing a friend on Facebook or Instagram for example) and/or through search engine traffic 4. Turning those prospective leads and followers into raving fans and people who trust you and like you enough to buy. You can do this by producing consistently highly valuable content in the form of entertainment, how-to, and/or emotional relation.
Thanks! I came up with all this myself after observing social media for thousands of hours, hearing others talk about it, and thinking about it constantly in my free time.
What’s the #1 thing you learned from this that you can take actio non today?
Most overachievers have at some point struggled with how to stop being a perfectionist. Does this sound familiar to you?
You are ambitious and love going above and beyond. You know that this will lead to greater success. But, you’re a perfectionist.
Lately, you have learned that being a perfectionist isn’t always a good thing.
It leads to analysis paralysis. This is a situation where you spend too much time perfecting trivial things.
It leads to situation where you unable to move forward.
Analysis paralysis happens in many different fields.
You could be too focused on perfecting the theory to even attempt to approach someone you like. You could delay the publication date of a book for years because it’s “not good enough.” You could fail to release product for your first business because it’s “not perfect.”
Here are some steps that might help you defeat this process. For me, it’s been pretty easy to tackle.
How To Stop Being A Perfectionist
I can’t guarantee this will cure it. But it might help:
Understand Why It’s Not The Optimal Way
The first step to defeating this is to understand the logic behind why you shouldn’t waste time with it.
Look at the examples I just showed you.
Getting better requires you to fail with an imperfect release. Critical learning can only be obtained if you release your project and learn through feedback.
Many things in life require you to learn through action rather than theory.
Can you become a tennis pro from just studying hundreds of books of tennis theory without ever swinging a racket?
Could Michael Jordan have been as great as he did if he was too paralyzed to step on the court? He practiced as much as he could, knowing he wasn’t perfect.
He was okay with his failures.
Most successful people I have met have failed much more than the average person. And through this failure, they have learned how to become better.
He said that your theories on why a product is going to be great is completely different from what people will actually pay for.
Paypal and Instagram are great examples of companies just getting things out there. Their first versions were COMPLETELY different from they are now.
They listened to their market and found the small piece that the users primarily used. They were smart enough to tear down everything else and make that the whole thing.
Instagram started as Burbn and the photo-sharing component was a small component. Paypal started as a complicated bank system and the electronic money transfer part was a small, simple part.
Perfectionism can be a good thing because you are willing to work harder than the average, lazy person to make things better. But it’s bad for you when you strive for it to a point of hurting yourself or your own success.
Perfect is a concept invented by humans. There can be no true perfection in the world.
Women who get too obsessed with a “perfect body” create distorted versions of themselves. Funny enough, they can’t be perfect by nature because they use fake parts to do so through plastic surgery and make-up.
Then they go on to fight the inevitable nature of old age to prevent their “fake perfect” from fading.
Let’s walk through some big, concrete examples of why perfectionism isn’t the best path.
Consider 2 people. Both of them have a goal of making a lot of money one day to live a good life.
Person A is such a perfectionist that she fails to ever release a book or product after years of blueprints. Because they aren’t perfect.
Person B releases books and products every year. They aren’t perfect but he learns from his audience. He learns things he never would have considered himself. He gets better and better and achieves his goal.
Person A has overfocused on her short-term goal and failed her long-term goal of financial prosperity. She has gotten stuck in her beliefs about what is “perfect” in a book that might not even be true.
Here’s another example:
Person A wants to be a Youtube star. She wants to shine on social media. She sees how awesome the videos are on there. She fails to ever release a video publicly because she is too paralyzed.
Person B wants the same thing. She is also a bit of a perfectionist but is willing to take action. She spends an entire week making her video but does release it. She gets feedback and advice she never would have considered from her comments.
Person C is super lazy. He wants the same goal. He loves taking action but is the opposite of a perfectionist. He shotguns out a video every day. These are horrible videos and he never bothers to learn from them.
In this example, I had 3 people to illustrate when perfectionism can be good. Compared to the average person, perfectionism has its place for excellence.
Because you care more about your project, you improve the quality. The average person doesn’t put much effort into it. And he doesn’t learn from his mistakes.
Person B was the best one because she used the strengths of perfectionism without letting it ruin her.
The final example:
Person A is a young intern. He wants to learn a lot of writing skills from his mentor and become wealthy one day. His mentor is a wealthy writer. However, he’s such a perfectionist that he won’t ever publicly release an essay he wrote to his mentor. His mentor warns him many times but he keeps doing it until he gets fired.
Person B is in the same situation. He succeeds by releasing things on time even though he knows it’s far from perfect. He tries his best and gets valuable advice and feedback. This allows him to grow.
This is an extreme example but it shows you how perfectionism works and why it’s not good.
I hope you understand the logic now.
Perfectionism has its place. Take a deep breath and let it go.
Even if it’s not perfect, it’s the most practical thing to do for your success.
Find The Real, Hidden Reason You’re A Perfectionist
Now, let’s get to the emotional side. If it logically makes sense, but you still can’t remove perfectionism.
It could be an emotional thing.
And it could just be a habit that takes time to slowly change. If it’s a habit, you just very slowly start to be less of a perfectionist over time.
If it’s an emotional thing, there could be a deeper reason that’s harder to root out.
Here are some big reasons:
Maybe your real issue is that you fear feedback so you use perfectionism as a crutch. In that case, you should look towards tackling that fear.
There is a logical and emotional solution to that as well. Realize that the worst that can happen isn’t that bad. You’re still alive and healthy. You’re still happy.
Maybe your real issue is that you’re avoiding something. You’re avoiding moving to the next step because part of you is lazy. You know the next part is the tough part that will require work you don’t want to do.
In that case, you have to tackle that obstacle. What works best is finding a drive that will motivate you to do the tough things. If your dream is so big that you’ll do anything, it will wash away the obstacles.
Finally, maybe the real issue is that you believe that doing things near perfect the first time is the way to go.
One solution to this is to do it a few times and realize it isn’t.
I was naive enough to believe that you had to read textbooks from beginning to end to do well in school. This was because I never did before and thought that was why my grades suffered.
After many months of painfully going through every page of assigned reading, I learned. I found that for some classes, it was helpful. For most classes, the information I read was excessive, needless, repetitive, and unhelpful.
I was reading a time management book by Brian Tracy, a famed business and salesman turned motivational speaker.
He mentioned an interesting study.
They separated managers into 2 groups: one who were mediocre managers and the other who were incredibly successful managers. They had them tested on decision-making scenarios.
Surprisingly, both groups scored just as well. However, they found that the difference was that in real life, the mediocre group was afraid to take responsibility for decisions, too fearful to make a decision that might be wrong, or unwilling to take responsibility if it was the wrong decision.
The test had failed to consider a few variables that exist in the real world.
More importantly, this is a great lesson in management and leadership. You have to be able to take responsibility when things go wrong, assume the risk, and do things despite uncertainty.
In the real world, you will never have complete knowledge of 100% of the variables. You will never be able to get all the information. You have to make decisions based on incomplete data sometimes.
A great leader must fully take responsibility and be willing to if he or his followers make a mistake.
Realize that you get rapidly diminishing levels of increased benefit for the extra time you spend delaying. Being fearful of not knowing all the information could be the reason behind your perfectionism. Realize that this is OK and it’s the better thing to do.
Realize Perfectionism Isn’t Always Bad
A study Peter Bieling found that there may be different types of perfectionism, one that is bad for you and one that is good. Other studies have supported this idea. Another study showed that athletes had a positive form of perfectionism while those with eating disorders had a negative form.
Hopefully this helped you with perfectionism.
As you can see, life is not a checklist of directions. If it was, it’d be too easy to just follow the instructions to succeed. Some things are more internal, psychological, and complicated.
What’s the #1 thing you learned and will use immediately?
If any bit of you wants to accomplish game-changing things in the world – in sports, in business, in art, in martial arts, in school, or in a video game…
Today’s video is a must-watch.
It’s a gift to the world to unleash all of your untapped potential. And our mentor for the day is none other than the famous Malcolm Gladwell, author of Outliers (a well-known book on success). Here’s some of what you’ll learn in this Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell analysis:
The unconventional (and super-specific) number of hours Malcolm says you need to spend to become a master and why.
Why this rule has been misinterpreted and misused; What to do instead.
The takeaway you can use to succeed and why you can get what you want even if you didn’t luck out in life.
Also, if you’ve ever heard of Malcolm or his books (he’s sold millions of copies and is well known in certain communities online), pay particular attention towards the end of the video.
Because you’ll learn how to bypass the “I didn’t luck out. I have no change” syndrome.
We’re all ambitious people. We all want to be extraordinary in some way. My hope is that this video fires you up to create a game-changing, incredible life.
Now, I want to hear from you. What’s the #1 biggest lesson you’re taking away from this conversation, and why? Yes, more than one lesson is allowed – but I’m really interested in what hit your gut the most.
Leave a comment and let me know. Remember, try your best to share as much as you can because many ambitious people come here every day for community and insight.
What you have to say may just be the idea someone else needs to change their life.
Thank you for watching and sharing.
Your fire lights up the world (in a good way).
P.S. Just listened to a podcast about a man who chose to live like it was his last year alive. I’ve heard this self-help saying for a while now but haven’t truly executed on it. Maybe a topic for another day? One thing’s for sure:
You and I can both have more fun as we grind out our 10,000 hours.