How To Find Your Passion and Land Your Dream Job

How To Find Your Passion and Land Your Dream Job: The Ultimate Guide

How do you find a job or start a business and make a lot of money doing it without making the wrong choice? I spent years trying to find my passion and make it a career. I consumed every video, interview, podcast, and book out there on the topic.

Even now, there isn’t as much good, thorough advice as I want. But there is great advice out there that is just scattered among hundreds of interviews and speeches from successful people. I’ve compiled the best of what I’ve learned, what makes the most sense, and what actually has worked in the real world — not theory. Here’s the guide I wish I had for myself years ago:

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What is Straight Edge lifestyle? Benefits

What is the Straight Edge Lifestyle? An Idiot’s Guide

So there are all sorts of crazy niche men’s lifestyles out there. I recently found new one called the Straight Edge lifestyle.

It’s not crazy. It’s not extreme. It’s simple.

And I recommend it. First off, here’s what it is…

What is a Straight Edge Lifestyle?

It’s simple. It means you have committed to the following rules of avoiding:

  • drugs
  • alcohol
  • smoking
  • anything to harm your body

You can take it even farther and refrain from cursing or partying.

Honestly, I like the general concept (without going to extreme with the rules), but I’m also confused that they had to create a whole name for just living a healthy life.

I didn’t know about this until now but I realized I already do this. It’s a natural set of standards that Asian immigrant parents usually teach their children.

I want to be the optimal version of myself I can. To perform at peak levels, I cannot be doing things that affect my body or mind negatively and all those things have been consistently proven to do so.

I think the Straight Edge life is a good representation of how I try to do things. I try to do things the most efficiently and ethically as possible because there’s very little downside to it. The only real downside is to be made fun of by people who will call you uncool for not partaking in these things. And that’s not the type of person I want to hang out with anyways.

I get it. There is a bit of social pressure. And there are times when you are young or trapped where there’s really no cool people who don’t do drugs or drink or smoke. But it’s a big world and eventually you will grow old enough to find awesome, successful people like that if you actively look.There’s a difference between my idea of efficiency versus “cutting corners.”

There’s a difference between my idea of efficiency versus “cutting corners.” This isn’t about taking shortcuts or magic pills.

Unsuccessful people look for a shortcut, hack, cheat code, or magic pill to get ahead in making money, getting fit, and everything else in life. Ultimately, they always fail because they are too lazy to put in the hard work to get there. They keep looking for a Get Rich Quick strategy that doesn’t exist and isn’t sustainable.

Instead, when I think of efficiency, this is my mindset:

“I am willing to work as hard as necessary. I am willing to do the grunt work. I am willing to do the things unsuccessful people are too lazy to be bothered with. However, I will look to mentors and successful people who have gotten to where I have gotten to speed up the process by guiding me past the mistakes they have made ahead of time so I don’t have to.”

In this way, I get ahead.

I’m not doing this by cheating people or lying or looking for some secret Get Rich Quick scam tactic. Instead, I use books, history, videos, interviews, real people, and a strict selection process to find the best in the world (dead or alive) to help guide me along my journey. The lessons they have learned from wasting years of time and hundreds of thousands of dollars will be used to get me there faster.

The lessons they have learned from wasting years of time and hundreds of thousands of dollars will be used to get me there faster. Rather than cheating the system, I am building off the history and mistakes of previous generations. I am standing on the shoulders of giants.

Surprisingly enough, most people don’t do this. They are too arrogant or ignorant to recognize the importance of books, mentors, resources, or anything of the sort. Or they are too whimsical with who they choose to listen to.

Charlie Munger said that the best way of being the best is to deserve to be the best.

It’s an incredibly deep and amazing piece of advice. What he means is that you can cheat the system, lie, cook the books, and get away with it for a while. But eventually, you’ll be found out and screwed over.

The best example is the company Enron. For many years, they got away with making it seem like they were making billions of dollars on a global level through bribery, manipulation, corruption, cheating the system, making things overly complicated, cooking the books, and lying. They had the world fooled. Stock analysts applauded their company.

Stock analysts applauded their company. But in reality, almost all of them were being bribed by Enron. The ones who wouldn’t take the bribe were forcibly removed as analysts.

In reality, they were losing a ton of money. The executives at the top were siphoning off millions to pay for fancy dinners and vacations. They were secretly cheating consumers by illegally turning off generators to save money. There’s a great documentary about this I suggest you watch.

Eventually, things caught up to them. They got found out. Like most pyramid schemes, eventually you get so big that you run out of people to scam. You may get away with this for even years, but it will eventually catch up to you. What a horrible way to live.

What a horrible way to live. You’re always looking over your shoulder. The craziest part was that the top executives of Enron suffered from commitment and consistency bias. Everyday, they had to pretend to be honorable people who believed they were doing the right thing. Over the years, they eventually convinced themselves it was true.

Everyday, they had to pretend to be honorable people who believed they were doing the right thing. Over the years, they eventually convinced themselves it was true. Some of these people were sent to life in jail and they still believe that they were doing the right thing after robbing millions of dollars from people. Make sure this bias doesn’t occur to you.

Make sure this bias doesn’t occur to you. Is there anything in your life that you’re doing wrong that is slowly creeping into your belief patterns to affect you?

A similar story of such a scandal was Lance Armstrong, a top cyclist.

Now, here’s an example of an athlete who was the best because he deserved to be the best. He clearly didn’t cut any corners. Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan.

Michael is still considered one of the best basketball players of all time.

Some of the things he did were so good that it was clear that he put hard work and practice into it. There was no cutting corners. There was no cheating the system. He could go to sleep at night in peace because he didn’t lie or cheat to get there.

His performance made it clear that he got there by deserving to be there.

Benefits of a Straight Edge Lifestyle

The obvious benefits of a Straight Edge lifestyle come are the catastrophes that you avoid by not indulging in excessive drinking, partying, tattoos, or drugs.

History is filled with stories of wealthy and poor people who have ruined their future by putting themselves in states where they are not in control and they behave in ways they regret.

There are a ton of results that aren’t ideal. You can end up:

  • making poor life decisions
  • as a horrible parent
  • impregnating a woman with a child you can’t financially or emotionally supprot
  • show up late to important meetings with family or your career because you overslept
  • wasting money you could have invested better
  • destroyed your performance in school

Growing up, I felt like these rules imposed on me by my parents were too strict. Maybe alcohol wasn’t as bad as it seems. Maybe successful people do fine partying, doing drugs, and drinking all the time. Maybe I was wrong in my beliefs.

But as I read more and more stories of successful people, I discovered plenty who learned the hard way and decided to give it up. This includes Russsell Simmons in his book Super Rich, Steve Aoki in the book Tribe of Mentors, and James Swanwick, who has a whole program on getting people to quit.

The Struggles of Living a Straight Edge Lifestyle

Environment can make or break how hard it is to lie this lifestyle.

I’ve found that living and working with people who align with your goals makes it super easy. There is little resistance.

But if you’re living in the party or drug capital of the world, that’s another story.

Growing up, I was bullied a lot in middle school for being the only kid who didn’t curse. Kids would follow after me and harass me to get me to curse. To them, it wasn’t anything serious, but for me, it built up like a bottle because it was so hard to resist and it placed so much more power on that word.

Later on, I realized that a word is just a word. I am freely able and willing to curse to demonstrate I have the ability. And sometimes, I’ll even let it slip out while talking.

It’s really the malice and meaning behind the word that matter.

A Warning: Don’t Be An Extremist

The danger of Straight Edge (or any lifestyle) is extremism.

You can end up optimizing for following the rules rather than life results. For example, according to the book 50 Secrets of the Longest Living People, long living people drink a cup or two of red wine every night.

But if you’re a Straight Edge extremist, you’re not allowed to drink a drop of alcohol. This is failing the main motive of Straight Edge, which is to avoid the dangers of excess alcohol, while preventing yourself from the benefits of living longer.

Therefore, don’t be an extremist for max life optimization.

Similarly, there are other ways this can apply. For example, it may be socially intelligent to at least drink one cup of alcohol in some social gatherings and networking events since most cultures love alcohol. You don’t have to get drunk but you don’t want to be the stingy odd one out.

I tend to get away with not drinking at all when no one else cares but I definitely will in events where it’s obvious that it would be weird or impolite if I didn’t (this is rare but it happens).

One thing I don’t like about the Straight Edge movement is that you can get the false idea that “all tattoos are evil”, which isn’t the case.

I’ll probably never get a tattoo because they hurt a lot to get, if you choose the wrong one you’ll regret it, and it doesn’t always look attractive. But you can always get it laser removed and some people definitely look more attractive with a tattoo by falling into a certain category of bad boy that girls like.

It’s fine to get one or two tattoos and still be Straight Edge. When it’s dozens, that’s a different story.

In fact, I some people actually do look more attractive with a tattoo and it can be something admirable if the tattoo has a strong message or meaning behind it because of the commitment they made to put it permanently on their bodies.

Conclusion

Overall, the Straight Edge lifestyle is an incredible, healthy lifestyle to live that will optimize your health, longevity, and happiness by reducing activities that can lead to major suffering.

I realized I was Straight Edge without even realizing it. It’s a common thing that 1st generation Asian parents push.

However, you should be cautious of extremism for this lifestyle or anything else.

What can you do right NOW to change your life for the better?

Views – 85

The Mask of Masculinity: Lewis Howes on How To Start Being Your True Self book summary and review

The Mask of Masculinity: Lewis Howes on How To Start Being Your True Self

Lewis Howes’s latest book, The Mask of Masculinity, is a breath of fresh air.

If you’re not familiar with Lewis, he’s a host of a Top 100 Apple Podcast, The School of Greatness, NY Times best-selling author of a book with the same name, millionaire entrepreneur (he’s in the online marketing industry), and the founder of an annual conference called the Summit of Greatness. He’s basically a self-help influencer.

Honestly, I wasn’t too much of a fan of his previous work because it was mainly generic self-help advice — stuff so many other gurus out there are peddling.

But this is truly a breath of fresh air from his first book because it covers a topic of psychology that many men struggle with that hold them back from success but rarely ever address. Heck, there’s barely any books on the topic.

You can tell this came from a place of honesty.

Lewis wrote it after finding himself unhappy, in toxic fights with his girlfriend, and bloody after a street brawl. Even though he was rich, successful, and a national athlete, there were still internal issues he had to work out.

Here’s what I liked and didn’t like about the book and what you can learn. Watch the video below:

I suggest checking this book out yourself because it will help you:

  • Have inner peace.
  • Form strong relationships.
  • Connect better with others.
  • Have a healthier self image.
  • Have a strong self worth.
  • Improve emotional control.
  • Have true strength as a man.
  • Eliminate insecurities with being a man.
  • Be your true self without fear of judgement or validation.
  • Much more.

Each chapter focuses on a different mask that men wear. There are action steps at the end of each chapter to guide you and steps for women to take if they want to help their men.

How This Book Related To Me

This book definitely helped me, but it’s interesting to note that I likely had the opposite experience with some of the masks than Lewis, the jock.

While Lewis was a star athlete growing up and then, rich entrepreneur, he probably felt he could be the best and thought he had to wear the masks of masculinity, invincibility, athleticism, sexuality, alpha, and aggressiveness.

For me, I was so bad at most of these that I thought I could never reach them and just gave up on them. But I still partially believed that those goals were what made an attractive man. As you can tell, that can be a formula for low self esteem, envy, or compensation.

The Material Mask (the mask of wealth and status) was and is the mask I thought I had to compensate for.

I noticed I was fortunate enough to have already come to terms with some of the masks based on being a self help junkie and taking action on what I learned. I am able to be vulnerable when I want to even to strangers, which the Stoic Mask (“a man should never cry or reveal emotions”) tells you that you shouldn’t.

I had also gone through some great personal development through role models like Warren Buffett and met some friendly, muscular people. This helped me develop an internal, though not perfect, sense of self worth that allows me to not feel insecure in places where other man may seem much better than me, such as at a gym as the skinny guy.

Additionally, I had a huge temper, like my parents, as a child. Toxic fights would result in walls or furniture getting destroyed. The chapter on the Assertive Mask is great for working through this. Nowadays, I may overcompensated in the other direction by just being too passive and calm rather than feeling okay with showing people that I’m angry.

Having said that, I’m still not perfect at removing any of these masks and have room for improvement.

My Experiences with the Stoic Mask

I can list the times I cried, came close, or was deeply affected by others crying on my fingers. That’s how few it’s been. And maybe that’s not a good thing.

The Stoic Mask is definitely up at the top of my list for “Masks I can work on removing.” When I was young, my sister started crying to my parents about how I mistreated her. When that wasn’t the case at all, I got the blame and backlash from my father because she was crying.

As a man, I was unwilling to cry, so I held it in and just took the unjust blame. As I ran upstairs, a faint whimper came out.

Later on, my father was wise enough to catch that I was restraining myself from crying. He told me an old Chinese proverb that basically said how women’s tears are a dime a dozen, but a man’s tears are gold. He explained to me that it meant that women can and will cry over everything, even small things. But when a man cries, it means something.

I also remember on one of the final days of middle school, the teachers let all the students say goodbye to each other for the whole afternoon. Almost every kid started crying because they would be going to different high schools — except me and a tall, red headed guy who sarcastically said he wanted to cry but was “physically incapable of it.”

Imagine over a hundred kids, many of which were popular, athletic guys, all crying and hugging each other. People you had never see cry were crying. But it was a fun crying session. The popular girls were crying and hugging everyone. The boys were seen as cool for crying. It wasn’t a painful type of crying.

I didn’t have that many friends, so I was jealous. I spent most of the afternoon just standing and watching from a distance. I kept thinking, “How could they cry about this? I’ve gone through much more horrific stuff that would make you want to cry. These people are weak-minded and probably haven’t experienced as much suffering as me.”

It reminded me a lot of an MTV show I saw a few episodes of where they would go to high schools and make them do emotional exercises, like step to the other side of the room or raise their hand if they experienced some type of trauma.

Half way through the episodes, most of the teens are crying their eyes out.

But a Hispanic teen never did. Even though he raised his hand more than anyone else in the room. He lived in an area infested with drugs and gangs, so you can imagine what he had to go through (death of loved ones, violence, etc.).

When they interviewed him afterwards, he said it was cool that others were crying, but he just didn’t feel like crying.

But perhaps, others weren’t weak-minded or had easier lives than me. Maybe I was uncomfortable with crying.

Maybe I was made to believe that you only cry when you suffer badly. You can’t cry for small relationship-themed moments, like when your classmates go to a different high school, even though you can still keep in touch and meet on the weekends.

Or maybe I was so ashamed of exposing myself to crying or the feeling that I would miss anyone that I held back. Or maybe I just didn’t have many friends to cry for.

The interesting thing about this mask is that I don’t think anyone explicitly told me that as a man, you cannot cry. I think I just picked it up naturally through American society, maybe through the TV shows and movies out there.

Conclusion

I hope you understand that there are safe people and safe places to talk about your struggles and room for you to 10x your life no matter what you’re struggling with now.

Here is the link to the book Mask of Masculinity on Amazon. If you buy through this link, I get a commission at no extra cost to you.

What is your biggest issue related to this book? How do you plan on solving it. Let me know in the comments.

Views – 82

How Shy Introverts Can Succeed in Social Settings, Make Friends, Get Dates & Further Their Career

How Introverts Can Get Over Shyness: Secrets to Quiet People Psychology and Success in Life

“Solitude matters, and for some people, it’s the air they breathe”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking

There are just as many shy introverts as outgoing extroverts out there. So why does it seem like we’re being left out? Why does it feel like we’re not getting as far ahead? Why do we feel frustrated as if we should speak more or be more like the extroverts?

It’s clear that Western society honors the man who pushes his way to the front. But what about the rest of us? Even people who claim to be “extroverted introverts” can still feel like they weren’t dealt the best hand in life.

In this podcast episode, I’m going to share with you what I learned about succeeding as a shy introvert from:

  • reading all the top books on introversion including Quiet: The Power of Introversion and Introversion Power
  • going through scientific studies comparing introverts to extroverts
  • applying the tips I learned in the books and online in real life to see if it works (hint: it sometimes doesn’t)
  • sharing strategies I’ve come up with on my own when theories consistently didn’t work in the real world

You’ll also learn why so many Asian Americans are introverts (spoilers: it’s a mix of culture, upbringing, and who they grow up with).

Enjoy:

Question of the day: What’s the #1 action step you learned from the podcast that you will apply to your own life immediately? Leave a comment and let me know.

Views – 87

get billionaire advice online

20 Billionaires That Post on Social Media or the Internet That You Can Learn From

Believe it or not, you can get fairly frequent advice from billionaires online.

When you have over a thousand billionaires in existence, it’s not surprise that at least few are fairly plugged into the online world.And I highly recommend getting advice straight from the top rather than someone who is moderately good at a skill. And who better to turn to than billionaires?

When I have some free time, I always like to check up on these people and the new advice they’re putting out. Here are a list of billionaires that put out at least semi-frequent advice online.

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Views – 471

daily journal secrets tips and truth

An Honest 5 Minute Journal Review: The Truth About Journaling & Morning Routines

A new fad has been sweeping through the personal development movement.

Journaling. But is it just a useless fad seen as the next “magic pill” to success or is it legit?

There are even popular journals you can buy include the Five-Minute Journal, Mastery Journal, Freedom Journal, Morning Pages, and Miracle Morning (though this is more of a routine) as made famous by Alex and Mimi Ikonn, John Lee Dumas, Tim Ferriss, and Hal Elrod.

But there’s a huge problem with the current state of daily journals out in the market.

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Views – 144

How To Make Friends Without Having To Influence Them

How To Make Friends Without Having To Influence Them

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is one of the only books that exist on how to make friends. And it’s wildly successful, selling millions of copies.

But after reading the book and the reviews, I realized there were critical components on how to make friends that were missing. People complained about the following in the book:

  • Short-term manipulative tactics are used that can destroy your long term success with making friends.
  • Some of the tips are focused on ways of getting people to like you for business and networking, which is different from making friends because you’re encouraged to be someone other than your true self.
  • The tips to smile more, be nice, and be interested fail to account for the female gender. When women do this, it can be misinterpreted as a sexual advance and encourage harassment.
  • Pretending to be interested in something you’re not and being too agreeable can cause you to end up with friends you don’t really want and you don’t actually connect with because you’re lying about your interests, overlooking their glaring faults, or befriending selfish people who drain your energy.
  • A lot of the advice is generic or repetitive and focused on common sense tactics to be a decent, average person.

I want to address these issues and give some advice on how to actually make friends without having to put on a fake persona or manipulate. My advice is based on what I have learned from my own experiments and/or asking people who seem to naturally good at making a lot of high quality friends.

I think most people are unaware of all the great benefits of creating an established network of healthy, supporting friends. Many are also unaware that social skills are an acquired skill that almost everyone can develop with practice.

This topic means a lot for me because I struggled immensely to make friends growing up. I even sat alone at the cafeteria often in school.

I believe you can make quality friends that have similar values and hobbies — who will support you — who you will be a lot of fun to hang around even if you’re starting from scratch. It won’t be easy but you can do it. And I’m going to teach you how to do it without having to manipulate, lie, or influence others.

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Views – 243

what is personal development?

Personal Development Made Simple: A Beginner’s Guide

Do you know who Tony Robbins is?

He went from working as a janitor to the world’s most well known personal development speaker with a net worth of $480 million

Similarly, Brian Tracy went from working dead-end jobs (like dishwasher) as a high school dropout to a multi-millionaire salesman.

Here’s one more: W. Clement Stone took the book Think and Grow Rich and followed it to a tee. He turned $100 into millions in the insurance business. 

This was all thanks to personal development.

Now, there is a lot of fluff and bad advice out there on personal development and I want to set things straight. You may be (rightfully) skeptical of personal development. But real personal development, at its core, can help you. And I will prove it.

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Views – 573

How To Develop Persistence: Tactics To Never Give Up

How To Develop Persistence: Tactics To Never Give Up

Never give up. Today is hard, tomorrow will be worse, but the day after tomorrow will be sunshine. -Jack Ma, founder of Alibaba

If you’ve been studying successful people for any decent length of time, you know how important never giving up is. Life is long and you never know what may turn in your favor over that time. But how do you develop persistence when you fail at staying consistent at most things in life?

What if you fail at not giving up when it comes to simple things, like maintaining a healthy diet, avoiding fast food, and always exercising?

Well, I used to be a quitter. But now I have maintained a very consistent exercise routine, meditation routine, and I have uploaded 1,000 YouTube videos on my channel without quitting. I’ll explain how you can do the same with science.

Listen now:

Like this episode? Please subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It helps me reach more people.
This scene in a Slyvestor Stallone film really spoke to me when I was going through a tough time:

Further Recommended Reading on Persistence:

Note: the links to books will take you to Amazon. If you buy, I will get a commission at no extra cost to you.

Question of the day: What’s the #1 lesson you learned from this podcast episode? 

Views – 263