5 Counter-Intuitive Psychology Hacks To Succeed At Life

Today, I dive into beginner to intermediate Psychology 101. Why? To use the power of science and our research of the mind to improve your success in life. If you’re looking to level up your life by discovering new opportunities to succeed, then this is the episode for you. There are plenty of psychological biases and faulty mental models that most people aren’t aware of that you can now leverage.

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The Art of Learning by Josh Waitzkin Summary: Accelerated Learning Techniques

The Art of Learning by Josh Waitzkin Summary: Accelerated Learning Techniques To Become A SuperLearner

Josh Waitzkin became a national champion in two skills by his early thirties: chess (as a teen) and Tai Chi Chuan, a competitive martial arts. Later on, he became a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and the first student to do so under Marcelo Garcia, a man widely regarded as one of the best pound-for-pound grapplers in the world.

He was also the basis for the popular chess film, Searching for Bobby Fischer. What was his secret for mastering so many skills so early when most people can’t master one skill in their entire lifetime?

According to Josh, the secret was that he was better at learning than others. He succeeded in his  second skill after quitting chess by applying his ability to learn. The great news is that Josh wrote a book, The Art of Learning, to teach you how to learn better.

Here is my The Art of Learning summary. You will learn the top accelerated learning techniques to learn faster, retain the information, and progress in your chosen craft quicker.

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Depressed, Disabled, Lonely, Abused, and No Friends

I got a question from a mother who is going through tough times on multiple fronts. If you join my email newsletter (there’s plenty of places to sign up, such as at the bottom of this article), you can reply to an email with your question, and I will try to help you.

As the title of this article hints, she’s failing at most areas of life.

I don’t tend to address issues like this because it attracts people I can’t help (even if I want to). My content is focused more on high achievers who can execute. But this time, I was compelled to answer (and post this with her permission) because it was so emotional, genuine, and almost everything I’ve released online started because I was like this women and wanted to learn how to get better. I want to add some value here, even if my tips won’t solve everything.

I’ve posted a shortened version of her question and my answer to help anyone going through something similar:

Hi Will,
I’m 55 years old and a single mom of 3.

I have been divorced for just over 11 years. My oldest son has Aspergers. So this had kept me home for a good portion of his upbringing.

When I was younger.. and I mean in my 20’s, I was confident, assertive. Happy go lucky. I was a purser (head flight attendant on int’l flights for a prominent airline), I could make decisions quickly, without a second thought, no second guessing. And I never doubted myself. I always knew what I needed to do, or wanted to do. No matter what it was in regards to. My life, health wise, relationship wise, financial, family, ect.

I grew up pretty much alone. Living on my own since I was 16. I married at 28. My ex-husband was an alcoholic and emotionally abusive. This was the initial decent into depression for me.

I lost all my friends because I was not allowed to see anyone, in a round about way.. We only hung out with his friends, or family. When my friends or family came over.. He was always doing something.

Mostly cleaning..lol. Long OCD story that goes with that. So after a time, they stop coming around. At least the friends did.

Anyway. after years of emotional abuse, and becoming permanently disabled myself at 40, I divorced him.

I was so happy to be away from him. Having taken my kids away, to a happier place. It was a fresh start.
But I started to realize I had no friends, most my family was in other areas of the country. And since I was disabled, no money, well.. it started to take its toll.

I am unable to work outside the home, so I didn’t have as much opportunity to meet people. For friends or relationships.

After one severely failed relationship, my depression started to spiral even more so. It’s hard to always be alone. And no matter how positive you try to be, when no one wants to be in a relationship with you because they are older and do not want younger children, especially someone else’s.( I had my children at an older age..), Or they want a newer model… lol.( what I laughingly call younger women that most men my age want but don’t admit to..). And most women my age,(for friendship), are too busy with their own crap.

So not only am I depressed. I have no one to talk to, I have lost all my friends. I have no one in my life relationship wise, and the way I see myself and life has changed dramatically.

I am no longer the positive, quick thinking, know what I need to do person that I use to be.
Half the time, I cant figure out what to wear every day. Or what to make for dinner.

My kids don’t talk to me, and have little or no respect for me.

So Will, if you can write an article about taking a person from the dumps and building them up to at least feeling some semblance of happiness and confidence again. I would be much appreciative. Because I honestly don’t know where to start.

Here’s my response (revised and expanded for all my readers):
Thanks for the heartfelt message.

Wow. I’m no miracle worker and this seems to be a really tough situation.But I can try my best to help guide you towards the right path.
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Nike billionaire phil knight's rule for success

10 Rules For Success I Learned From The Creator of Nike

I’m so excited about this. 

Phil Knight, the founder of Nike, one of the most successful start-up stories of all time, has finally released a book. It’s called Shoe Dog. It’s a memoir and fairly quick read.

Nike has to be one of the most well-known global brands for the last few decades.  Steve Jobs gave a speech in 1997 and talked about how amazing Nike’s brand and marketing is. He marveled at Nike’s marketing strategy to be able to rise above others in a commodity industry. Even to this day, Nike still holds a top spot in the market; that’s very difficult to do.

 

Nike started with a few hundred dollars borrowed to $35 billion in sales a year. This book explains the story. I’ve already read a ton of books by billionaires but this one has become one of my favorites.

Here’s what I learned:

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Views – 218

Why Should You Sleep More

10 Science-Backed Reasons Why You Should Sleep More

Why am I so tired?With modern pop songs with lyrics like “I will sleep when I die” and celebrities like DJ Khaled bragging about the bags under his eyes, it is clear that many people believe that sleeping as little as possible is the most effective solution and something that be proud of.

I’ve seen everyone from high school students to CEO’s show off that they only slept 4 or less the night before. But it turns out that this isn’t the optimal or most efficient way to succeed.

Dustin Moskovitz, the youngest billionaire in the history of mankind, wrote an article where he said that Facebook would have been more successful sooner and he would have been a more effective worker if he had taken some time from work to sleep more, eat healthier, and exercise.

He also makes the great point that the 40 hour work week is not just some random number pulled out of the air so employees don’t have to work 90 hour weeks. It is the result of Henry Ford’s carefully considered profit maximizer research that showed that it’s better to not overwork your employees.

Bill Clinton has pointed to lack of sleep as the cause of the acceleration of his clogged artery and most of his mistakes as President of the United States:

“In my long political career, most of the mistakes I made, I made when I was too tired, because I tried too hard and worked too hard. You make better decisions when you’re not too tired. So that would be my only advice.” -Bill Clinton

Arianna Huffington was so driven by this topic that she wrote a whole book on it called The Sleep Revolution (affiliate link) and went everywhere she could to promote it. She herself is an entrepreneur who learned the lesson the hard way by collapsing from exhausting after weeks of overexertion. 

Sleeping more will save you years of wasted time, energy, and effort in the long run. Here are the best tips I learned from my research on sleep:

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Views – 271

what is a mastermind group

How To Start or Find A TRUE Business Mastermind Group

If you haven’t heard about mastermind groups, you will soon if you consume advice from millionaires. So I thought it’s useful to tell you the truth about mastermind groups, the good and bad, so you’re prepared.

What is a Mastermind?

A mastermind is a concept developed by Napoleon Hill, a man who spent 20 years studying 500 of the wealthiest people in the world at close range.

Mr. Hill went on to write a few books about wealth, including Think and Grow Rich, which went on to sell over 15 million copies and make thousands of people into millionaires.

A mastermind might help you get wealthy. Or even more wealthy, successful, and fulfilled, if you already are rich.

Let’s get to it:

I’ll tell you what’s NOT a mastermind:

It’s not when a group of people each pay a $10,000 monthly fee to one person so that this person can meet up once a month and coach these people, while mostly letting the participants help each other.

That’s called a coaching business.

Yet, this seems to be the general idea of what a “mastermind group call” is for a lot of online businesses: people paying a monthly fee ($1,000 or $10,000 or $100 per month) for help.

It’s epidemic in the internet marketing world.

And maybe you’re not in that world, but it also seems to be true for a lot of niches that use the internet: let’s say, just as an example, you have a blog on making wooden sculptures. If you look for help on how to make your blog better, and you go deep enough online, you will find advice.. eventually from people in the internet marketing world. And what happens is the wood-making niche now starts up their own masterminds.

I have stumbled across numerous people in the online marketing world, some of which were good, some bad, some veterans, and some fairly new in the market.

It seems to be a rather re-occurring theme with many of them to have this “Mastermind.”

And some people make a very good income off of it.

In fact, some of the people in the “wealth creation”, “abundance”, or “millionaire” niches online, also have this skewed idea of a mastermind.

However, I don’t think that’s a real mastermind according to how the great Napoleon Hill would describe one.

A real mastermind is one where no one is paying a cent to anyone else. This removes any pressure or distorted feelings, perceptions, or dynamics of the situation.

A mastermind is supposed to be a collaborative effort where successful people come together to help each other. It’s something where your peers can cover your weaknesses.

Here’s an excerpt from Napoleon Hill illustrating this concept with one of the wealthiest people in the history of mankind, Andrew Carnegie, someone he studied closely for decades:

mastermind group

A Mastermind Group is not to be confused with a paid, monthly coaching call that has stolen the name “Mastermind.”

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I Am Rich, Successful, And Have Everything But Am Not Happy.

I Am Rich, Successful, And Have Everything But Am Not Happy. Why?

Imagine hitting all your life and financial goals. Sounds great, right?

But many people who get there hit a funk.

Pat Flynn, an online entrepreneur, received this chilling email not long ago. He shared this email in his book Will It Fly? It’s worth sharing if you think money alone is all that matters:

Subject: I make $20,000 per month and I’m not happy.

Hi Pat, I’m sorry to email you like this, but I had no one else to turn to. I feel like I know you because I listen to your voice all day. You’re like a friend, even though we’ve never met. Sorry if that sounds weird.

Anyway, I want to thank you. You don’t know this, but you’ve taught me so much about how to build a successful online business. I currently generate over $20k per month in recurring revenue, but here’s the thing…

I’m unfulfilled. I’m not as happy as I thought I was going to be.

A few years ago, before I started my company, the thought of making this kind of money online was a pipe dream. Now that my “dream” has come true, I realize that I didn’t give my dream much thought at all and there’s much more to life than just making money.

I don’t even know why I’m emailing this to you, Pat. Maybe just to get it off my chest and share it with someone who might understand because you seem to have it all figured out. I don’t know. I just opened my email and started typing, which is funny now that I think about it because I jumped into it without a plan, sort of like how I started my business. Clearly I need to work on that.

Anyway, I don’t expect a reply because I know you’re busy. Thank you Pat, for all you do.

James

This man is not alone. Throughout my hundreds of hours of study of successful people, I’ve found many celebrities and successful entrepreneurs come forward with the same conclusion that wealth and/or fame doesn’t guarantee happiness.

What separates them from the rich and happy people?

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Views – 1186

Mindset the New Psychology of Success Book Summary

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck Book Summary

After decades of research, Stanford psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck found that your beliefs have the ability to affect whether you reach become successful or not. She formed a theory around two core mindsets that categorize the successful from the unsuccessful: the fixed versus growth mindset.

Fixed Mindset Vs. Growth Mindset

What are the differences between a fixed and growth mindset? Let me explain:

What Is A Fixed Mindset? 


Fixed mindset people believe that their skills (intelligence, ability, potential, etc.) are fixed from birth and unchangeable. As you’re going through section, if you realize many of these traits align with how you are, it’s agood test to confirm you have a fixed mindset.

Fixed mindset people have the following characteristics:

  • They hide their deficiencies and will not admit they have them.
  • They don’t enjoy the journey as much as the success at the end.
  • They care more about feeling superior, special, and different from others.
  • They believe their are finished products already rather than works-in-progress.
  • Their self worth and competence is based on their actions and perception by others.
  • They are in school to get good grades — even if it means cheating to do so, not to learn.
  • They put in as little effort as possible because they think smart people don’t need to try hard.
  • After a negative event they caused, they label themselves as something negative. After a positive event they caused, they label themselves as something positive.

They have beliefs and statements like:

  • “If you don’t succeed, never try again.”
  • “Once tried, once failed, never try again.”

Fixed mindset people have thoughts like:

  • “The world is out to get me.”
  • “Nothing good ever happens to me.”
  • “Life handed me a bad life and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Because they believe their abilities are unchangeable, they evolve behaviors to protect themselves. For example:

  • They will cheat or avoid challenges to hide their deficiencies in skill rather than be okay with it and grow.
  • They avoid opportunities where they can learn and get better if it means exposing their deficiencies.
  • They have a sense of urgency to succeed now because their results measure their worth forever.
  • They will do whatever they can to appear special or different from others.
  • They refuse to try if it means losing because they fear judgement.

After A Failure

Fixed mindset people often have tons of excuses for why they didn’t succeed. They pick excuses that are outside of their control so they can cover up their weaknesses.

After a failure, they may make statements in their head or out loud like:

  • “I’m worthless.”
  • “I’m a loser.”
  • “I suck.”

After a failure, they:

  • Pick a fight.
  • Pout and whine.
  • Sit there and cry.
  • Lock themselves in their room and cry.

They do this even if the failure is not even close to a devastating event. It could be a mid term instead of a final or someone brushing them off instead of an outright rejection.

Any event they cause, good or bad, are labels of themselves. For example, if they win an award, they think, “that means I’m smart.”

Fixed Mindset People Are Normal The Rest Of The Time

Fixed mindset people are not always negative. They can act just like positive growth mindset people most of their lives. But they reveal their differences after they fail.

What is a Growth Mindset?

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