Be Careful Out There in the Dating World

This one’s a bit of a doozy. Guy dates and moves in with boss. Finds out boss cheated on him with coworkers and her own bosses. Be careful who you trust. Also, do not just jump into official relationships if they’re attractive. This story proves they can be very bad fits, have horrible perspectives, suffocating, and push you where you don’t want to go.

[Serious] People who have slept with their boss for a promotion/raise, was it worth it? from AskReddit

Bit of a story for me.

Girl just returned home from being an air-hostess for a few years. Got a job at my work. Tele-customer services. (everyone bangs everyone in CS) She was school friends with my boss so, we saw a lot of each other. We got on well, started sleeping with eachother. She moved into her own home and asked me if id join her…Foolishly, I said yes. 6 months later, using her connection with her friend in the company, she got a promotion and new job role in training and HR. Tiny bit more money but more importantly, she was now MY boss…. you can see where this is heading.

Another 6 months later, we started to have some issues and agreed that we should work at it. It was, for my part, the fact that we were together 24 hours a day made me feel a little suffocated. From her point of view, I wasnt ambitious enough. She told me to go for jobs I didnt want to do in the company because “It looks better for us”. Anyways, a little resisting her urges for company promotion and my own plan to go to University part time, to study for my dream job, everything seemed to get better.

Then, it stopped being better…

We drifted even though we were still together constantly and after deciding to give it one last go, she dropped a cannon ball on me. She told me she had been sleeping with not only her boss but with the company director and a co-worker. I asked how she could do this, it boiled down to that she did it because she wanted to, without regard for me, just to progress her career… rest assured my world crumbled. I was embarrassed at so many things. Being cheated on by your GF is one thing. Being cheated on by the person you share a home with another, being cheated on by a co-worker is something too, but being cheated on by your boss with members of the same company….After we broke up I tried to continue working at the same place. But it became very clear that she wanted me gone and twice went to her boss to find a way to get rid of me (I found this out from our mutual friend years later) I couldnt take it anymore and quit.

I went numb for 4 years after that. Went to that bottom of that barrel everyone talks about. I was Low, very low. I felt completely lost and alone with my troubles. I had no idea where to go, what to do and thinking like this was just my fault, deal with it. I lost a good job and a bad girlfriend. I gained around 100lbs. I cloistered up socially. I thought that I was weak to need help for feeling ‘a bit down’ That this is something you cant ask for help to deal with, no one cares. This went on for years. I remember genuinely thinking that everyone around me would have their life improved if I was simply dead. I was diagnosed with Depression and Social Anxiety with suicidal tendencies.

But, things are getting better for me. Ive lost 84lbs of the 100lbs I put on in the last 18 months. I have re-signed up to finish my degree in September of next year. I volunteer regularly at a local mental health charity that helped me during my problems.

Anyways, I just realised hope much I typed so ill end it here.

Dont sleep with anyone you work with. It can’t only potentially ruin your job, it can ruin your life.

TLDR: Dated boss, Moved in with boss, boss cheated on me with several co-workers, went into mass depression, just about digging myself out years later.

Edit: She is now a stay at home single mum….worth it, wasnt it, dear? Edit, edit: I have troubles trusting women from this.

Long Edit: Thanks for all your comments. To answer a few questions and clarify a few things.. She was sleeping with them when I was working. She knew my rota so being a level above made it easy to vanish i guess. I am slowly starting a relationship with a girl I met in a group meeting. We have had similar experiences and have the same trust issues, it seems to be going well so far. I lost the weight training for a charity 10k run in Manchester in May of this year, I have put a bit back on but thats because Im not training for a 10k run :D My degree will be in Psychology and Counselling im studying part time so will take 6 years. Also, I did have people around me during this time, however their is a great stigma around mental health and they were never going to recognise the symptoms as well, they arnt that bright. I also discovered that my mother was particularly against anyone going into therapy for mental health issues. Not for any prejudice reasons against me, its that I found out her mother was a victim of Electro-shock therapy in the 60’s and just after finishing her 2nd/3rd treatment, ended up as suspected suicide from overdose. She has huge mental health problems and died when my mum was 6. So, my mum was terrified of me going into therapy by association..I only found this out 2 years ago well into my treatment. I should have been referred to the professionals much, much sooner but past experiences and social stigma stopped that from happening further effecting me. With my degree, I plan to work in the mental health sector and I will endevour to stamp out stigma in societies eyes so other people dont suffer from it. (sorry thats a bit long)

Final Edit: Woah, thanks for the Gold and to the person who found me on Steam and gave me games off my wishlist. brofist That is so generous of you.

This man seemed pretty healthy and stable before this. It seems like afterwards he became a complete mess but after many years was luckily able to pull back and come back from the brink. It is amazing how chance interactions with people can affect you like this when you’re new and naive to life. Let this be a lesson in that there is a deep emotional backlash to cheating in a relationship. There is plenty of people on this earth that you do not need to cheat in order to get ahead or feel good. I do think he could have maybe just reset to before this encounter with this female and realized she was a ¬†horrible person and what she did was because of her being bad and moved on. It seems instead, his emotional attachment caused further problems to break loose. Let this be a lesson to all to be very careful deciding what type of person you choose to be in an official intimate relationship with before going in.

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