Category: Books
top 5 masculinity manly books for men

5 Essential Books You Must Read on Masculinity and Becoming a Man

When it comes to self help books for men, the books I recommend may not be what you expect. They’re not tactical books on improving your habits or focus. They’re books that dive deeper and focus on the inner psychology that are preventing you from taking action on the tactics you read about it. This may includes books on building the fundamental traits of a healthy man.

We currently live in at an era where many men are frustrated and functioning far from their potential.

We’re angry, frustrated, fearful, or anxious with our situation or lack of results and if we will stay in this plateau forever.

It’s not completely your fault. Society and your upbringing may have failed you. Many of the strong fundamentals of becoming an attractive man, like a coming of age rite of passage, male role models, and exposure the benefits of assertiveness and aggression were eliminated in your upbringing thanks to the modern world.

Because of this, many men lack strong friendships with other men, a spine to stand up for themselves or others, or the ability to effectively behave as a man, which can damage their success in their career, dating life, ability to make male friends, or romantic relationship.

A few books have helped me see what has occurred and how to improve it. You see, I’m a stereotypical nice guy. I’m overly passive, I’m scared of conflict, I dwell on anxiety for too long, I please for approval, and I have done kind things expecting something back.

I’ve learned that false belief systems prevent us from getting the results we want but we cling onto them hoping our results will change. I discovered that our beliefs came from a mixture of possible factors including radical feminism views that demonized male traits like assertiveness or dominance, lack of male role models and friends growing up, having few male teachers, past trauma with interactions with other men, and the rise of cities to replace towns.

This modernization of the world has removed vital parts of what we genetically need to become attractive, functional men in society. Our happiness and social skills could be low because of a lack of a tribe to develop strong, recurring relationships. Our extreme views on assertiveness and expressing sexuality could cause so much shame that we never stand up for ourselves or express romantic interest. Our lack of strong friendships could dramatically cripple our dating lives, emotional intelligence, and mental health.

Watch the video below for the five books that will help change your life as a man:

Disclaimer: I am not blaming women for all my problems. I am simply trying to have higher quality relationships with men as friends and women romantically in my life. I want to do that by working on my emotional behaviors (or Nice Guy qualities) that are holding me back from an evolutionary biology perspective. 

I added this disclaimed because I was asked if I knew about the MGTOW, Red Pill, and Pick Up Artist communities. I’m aware they exist but some of their philosophies are filled with toxic, creepy, extreme hatred and blame towards women or extremist views on how things should be done. I choose not to follow their stuff.

Once again, the books mentioned are:

  1. Way of Men by Jack Donovan
  2. The Way of Superior Men by David Deida
  3. No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover
  4. What Women Want by Dr. Geoffrey Miller and Tucker Max
  5. Single, Shy, and Looking for Love: A Dating guide for the Shy & Socially Anxious by Shannon Kolakowski, PsyD

If you go through my link to a book to Amazon, I will get a commission at no extra cost to you.

Now, I’d like to hear from you. Is there a book I missed that really helped you? Has any piece of advice, influencer, or book impacted your life positively in your journey to become a better man? Let me know in the comments below.

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Billionaire Kevin Plank advice

Unsuccessful Business People Make Decisions Slow. See How Billionaires Are Different

How fast should you make a business decision? Should you spend weeks or months getting every fact to make sure you don’t screw over your company? It turns out that you want to decide fast.

Napoleon Hill spent his life studying 500+ of the richest people in the world in person thanks to his access with Andrew Carnegie. He wrote books telling us how they did it and how you can do the same.

One of the things that he said was that he and Carnegie found that if you are unable to make a quick decision even when you have enough information you need, you will not follow through on your goals or be successful.

Now, this is important for two reasons:

First, note that he says you need enough resources. This means that making decisions without enough information is foolish and it doesn’t matter how slow or fast you make them.

Second, once you have the necessary info, you have to make your decision quickly. Hill went on to say that successful people make decisions quickly and are slow to change. Unsuccessful people make their decisions slowly and are quick to change. 

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The Art of Learning by Josh Waitzkin Summary: Accelerated Learning Techniques

The Art of Learning by Josh Waitzkin Summary: Accelerated Learning Techniques To Become A SuperLearner

Josh Waitzkin became a national champion in two skills by his early thirties: chess (as a teen) and Tai Chi Chuan, a competitive martial arts. Later on, he became a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and the first student to do so under Marcelo Garcia, a man widely regarded as one of the best pound-for-pound grapplers in the world.

He was also the basis for the popular chess film, Searching for Bobby Fischer. What was his secret for mastering so many skills so early when most people can’t master one skill in their entire lifetime?

According to Josh, the secret was that he was better at learning than others. He succeeded in his  second skill after quitting chess by applying his ability to learn. The great news is that Josh wrote a book, The Art of Learning, to teach you how to learn better.

Here is my The Art of Learning summary. You will learn the top accelerated learning techniques to learn faster, retain the information, and progress in your chosen craft quicker.

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Nike billionaire phil knight's rule for success

10 Rules For Success I Learned From The Creator of Nike

I’m so excited about this. 

Phil Knight, the founder of Nike, one of the most successful start-up stories of all time, has finally released a book. It’s called Shoe Dog. It’s a memoir and fairly quick read.

Nike has to be one of the most well-known global brands for the last few decades.  Steve Jobs gave a speech in 1997 and talked about how amazing Nike’s brand and marketing is. He marveled at Nike’s marketing strategy to be able to rise above others in a commodity industry. Even to this day, Nike still holds a top spot in the market; that’s very difficult to do.

 

Nike started with a few hundred dollars borrowed to $35 billion in sales a year. This book explains the story. I’ve already read a ton of books by billionaires but this one has become one of my favorites.

Here’s what I learned:

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How do I continue to do something that I started and loved?

How to Deal With Multiple Passions To Find A Job You’re Passionate About (And Not Give Up Along the Process)

Does this sound like you?

Whenever you start to do something in a field (that you love), you feel interested initially and you put in all your effort. But after some time, you lose interest and stop doing it although you still love it. 

How do I continue to do something that I started and loved?

Today, I want to share with you:

  • how to solve the dilemma of “multiple passions” and find your calling.
  • why there’s massive, disproportionate reward with being the best in the world.
  • how to get there without burning out because you can even if you’re passionate about it.

The Dilemma of Multiple Interests and How To Tackle It

Ever since I found about the “Follow Your Passion” movement a few years ago, I struggled because I thought I had multiple interests and believed it was a bad thing. It seemed like successful people only had one interest and focused on that interest for decades until they got rich. I was told that you have to focus on one interest because no one has ever become successful at multiple skills except for once-in-a-millenium freaks like Leonardo DaVinci, Ben Franklin, and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

But it was so hard to restrain myself. I had dozens of interests, like video games, YouTube, manga, anime, personal development, business economics, music, and so on.

Now, there are a couple of TED Talks that argue that people like us have their own label. We are called “multipotentialites” or “polymaths.” They argue we should be proud of who we are and the world needs us.

I respectfully disagree.

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Why Should You Sleep More

10 Science-Backed Reasons Why You Should Sleep More

Why am I so tired?With modern pop songs with lyrics like “I will sleep when I die” and celebrities like DJ Khaled bragging about the bags under his eyes, it is clear that many people believe that sleeping as little as possible is the most effective solution and something that be proud of.

I’ve seen everyone from high school students to CEO’s show off that they only slept 4 or less the night before. But it turns out that this isn’t the optimal or most efficient way to succeed.

Dustin Moskovitz, the youngest billionaire in the history of mankind, wrote an article where he said that Facebook would have been more successful sooner and he would have been a more effective worker if he had taken some time from work to sleep more, eat healthier, and exercise.

He also makes the great point that the 40 hour work week is not just some random number pulled out of the air so employees don’t have to work 90 hour weeks. It is the result of Henry Ford’s carefully considered profit maximizer research that showed that it’s better to not overwork your employees.

Bill Clinton has pointed to lack of sleep as the cause of the acceleration of his clogged artery and most of his mistakes as President of the United States:

“In my long political career, most of the mistakes I made, I made when I was too tired, because I tried too hard and worked too hard. You make better decisions when you’re not too tired. So that would be my only advice.” -Bill Clinton

Arianna Huffington was so driven by this topic that she wrote a whole book on it called The Sleep Revolution (affiliate link) and went everywhere she could to promote it. She herself is an entrepreneur who learned the lesson the hard way by collapsing from exhausting after weeks of overexertion. 

Sleeping more will save you years of wasted time, energy, and effort in the long run. Here are the best tips I learned from my research on sleep:

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what is a mastermind group

How To Start or Find A TRUE Business Mastermind Group

If you haven’t heard about mastermind groups, you will soon if you consume advice from millionaires. So I thought it’s useful to tell you the truth about mastermind groups, the good and bad, so you’re prepared.

What is a Mastermind?

A mastermind is a concept developed by Napoleon Hill, a man who spent 20 years studying 500 of the wealthiest people in the world at close range.

Mr. Hill went on to write a few books about wealth, including Think and Grow Rich, which went on to sell over 15 million copies and make thousands of people into millionaires.

A mastermind might help you get wealthy. Or even more wealthy, successful, and fulfilled, if you already are rich.

Let’s get to it:

I’ll tell you what’s NOT a mastermind:

It’s not when a group of people each pay a $10,000 monthly fee to one person so that this person can meet up once a month and coach these people, while mostly letting the participants help each other.

That’s called a coaching business.

Yet, this seems to be the general idea of what a “mastermind group call” is for a lot of online businesses: people paying a monthly fee ($1,000 or $10,000 or $100 per month) for help.

It’s epidemic in the internet marketing world.

And maybe you’re not in that world, but it also seems to be true for a lot of niches that use the internet: let’s say, just as an example, you have a blog on making wooden sculptures. If you look for help on how to make your blog better, and you go deep enough online, you will find advice.. eventually from people in the internet marketing world. And what happens is the wood-making niche now starts up their own masterminds.

I have stumbled across numerous people in the online marketing world, some of which were good, some bad, some veterans, and some fairly new in the market.

It seems to be a rather re-occurring theme with many of them to have this “Mastermind.”

And some people make a very good income off of it.

In fact, some of the people in the “wealth creation”, “abundance”, or “millionaire” niches online, also have this skewed idea of a mastermind.

However, I don’t think that’s a real mastermind according to how the great Napoleon Hill would describe one.

A real mastermind is one where no one is paying a cent to anyone else. This removes any pressure or distorted feelings, perceptions, or dynamics of the situation.

A mastermind is supposed to be a collaborative effort where successful people come together to help each other. It’s something where your peers can cover your weaknesses.

Here’s an excerpt from Napoleon Hill illustrating this concept with one of the wealthiest people in the history of mankind, Andrew Carnegie, someone he studied closely for decades:

mastermind group

A Mastermind Group is not to be confused with a paid, monthly coaching call that has stolen the name “Mastermind.”

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Mindset the New Psychology of Success Book Summary

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck Book Summary

After decades of research, Stanford psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck found that your beliefs have the ability to affect whether you reach become successful or not. She formed a theory around two core mindsets that categorize the successful from the unsuccessful: the fixed versus growth mindset.

Fixed Mindset Vs. Growth Mindset

What are the differences between a fixed and growth mindset? Let me explain:

What Is A Fixed Mindset? 


Fixed mindset people believe that their skills (intelligence, ability, potential, etc.) are fixed from birth and unchangeable. As you’re going through section, if you realize many of these traits align with how you are, it’s agood test to confirm you have a fixed mindset.

Fixed mindset people have the following characteristics:

  • They hide their deficiencies and will not admit they have them.
  • They don’t enjoy the journey as much as the success at the end.
  • They care more about feeling superior, special, and different from others.
  • They believe their are finished products already rather than works-in-progress.
  • Their self worth and competence is based on their actions and perception by others.
  • They are in school to get good grades — even if it means cheating to do so, not to learn.
  • They put in as little effort as possible because they think smart people don’t need to try hard.
  • After a negative event they caused, they label themselves as something negative. After a positive event they caused, they label themselves as something positive.

They have beliefs and statements like:

  • “If you don’t succeed, never try again.”
  • “Once tried, once failed, never try again.”

Fixed mindset people have thoughts like:

  • “The world is out to get me.”
  • “Nothing good ever happens to me.”
  • “Life handed me a bad life and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Because they believe their abilities are unchangeable, they evolve behaviors to protect themselves. For example:

  • They will cheat or avoid challenges to hide their deficiencies in skill rather than be okay with it and grow.
  • They avoid opportunities where they can learn and get better if it means exposing their deficiencies.
  • They have a sense of urgency to succeed now because their results measure their worth forever.
  • They will do whatever they can to appear special or different from others.
  • They refuse to try if it means losing because they fear judgement.

After A Failure

Fixed mindset people often have tons of excuses for why they didn’t succeed. They pick excuses that are outside of their control so they can cover up their weaknesses.

After a failure, they may make statements in their head or out loud like:

  • “I’m worthless.”
  • “I’m a loser.”
  • “I suck.”

After a failure, they:

  • Pick a fight.
  • Pout and whine.
  • Sit there and cry.
  • Lock themselves in their room and cry.

They do this even if the failure is not even close to a devastating event. It could be a mid term instead of a final or someone brushing them off instead of an outright rejection.

Any event they cause, good or bad, are labels of themselves. For example, if they win an award, they think, “that means I’m smart.”

Fixed Mindset People Are Normal The Rest Of The Time

Fixed mindset people are not always negative. They can act just like positive growth mindset people most of their lives. But they reveal their differences after they fail.

What is a Growth Mindset?

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How To Stand Out In Your Job and Get A Raise or Promotion

19 Secrets on How To Stand Out In Your Job & Get A Raise or Promotion

Most people don’t care about succeeding. They walk through life like zombies. But you’re not like that. You’ve been looking to earn more and do more for a while now. I’ve heard your cries for help.

It can be frustrating when you work hard for extended periods of time without recognition. I’ve been there. You know what it’s like. But no longer.

I’ve curated some of the best advice from experts on how to get a raise or promotion, including Ramit Sethi, Jack Welch, Dorie Clark, Gary Bencivenga, and more. I want to share with you what I learned.

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