Steve Harvey is one of the few who truly started from the bottom.
There are plenty of successful people who started in the middle of life with a good education and rose to the top. Steve flunked out of school, worked at a factory job, go fired, was homeless, and made up his mind to be a success when he was middle-aged.
I can list the names of people I know who started like that on my fingers: Richard Branson, John Paul DeJoria, Chris Gardner, Jim Carrey, Sylvester Stallone, Brian Tracy, and Tony Robbins.
When I first heard Steve’s story on YouTube, it struck me so deeply that I had to learn more. Why? Because some part me had lost hope but I saw that if Steve could change his life so late in the game, maybe I could too.
As always, I do a search to see if he wrote a book on success, not expecting to find anything.
Just like with Michael Strahan, I was surprised to find that he did. It is called Act Like A Success, Think Like A Success. Isn’t that interesting? You’d be amazed how many of your role models have written books explaining their secrets.
It’s a tragedy few people know about these books or bother to read them.
Steve’s book gives me a unique perspective. It’s not advice from someone who at the top. It’s coming from someone who came from the bottom.
By the end of this, any excuse you have, whether it’s “I don’t have the connections”, “I don’t have the skills”, “I don’t have the knowledge”, or “I don’t have the education” should be flushed out of you like turds in a toilet bowl. No excuses.
Many people die letting their false beliefs and excuses hold them back from their dreams. Don’t let this be you. Here are the top 18 lessons I learned from his book:
She’s not anymore, but at one point, she reached that level.
It’s interesting how unaware we are that really well-known female celebrities are billionaires even though they’re in the minority and should be celebrated.
I didn’t know Oprah Winfrey, Martha Stewart, and J.K. Rowling were until I did some research.
I read Martha’s book on success. This book is literally on how you can achieve success. It’s staggering how many successful people have written $10 books on these topics, yet no one is aware of them, let alone read them.
This book was a great read. There was a lot of lessons I really think that many women can relate to and I think it’s one of the best books to read for a women looking to become wealthy, happy, and successful.
Here are the top rules of success I picked up from the book:
Brené Brown is a University of Houston research professor who has spent decades studying shame and vulnerability.
For most of human civilization, men have hid behind the mask of masculinity, concealing any signs of shame and vulnerability because they believed that a man should never show weakness.
But it turns out that Brené found that vulnerability is a vital part of mental health, communication, and working relationships through her scientific study. Men are waking up and realizing this — even entrepreneurs like Lewis Howes have wrote books on it.
If you’re not familiar with the vulnerability, shame, and guilt movement, start out by checking our Brené’s TED talk, which has gotten millions of views:
“Vulnerability is not weakness. I define vulnerability as emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty … Vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage.” -Brené Brown
Are you dealing with shame? How do you identify if you have it and how do you handle it? Listen to my podcast episode to find out:
Subscribe to the podcast:
“Shame is a focus on self. Guilt is a focus on behavior.” -Brené Brown
Here are some key lessons I learned from her book, Daring Greatly:
There is no data that shows there is any benefit to shame.
Shame resiliency is the ability to realize what you did is still worth it regardless of the risks of shame and embarrassment.
Shame resiliency is important and useful and can be improved.
Validating your self-worth based on the external is a recipe for disaster and shame. You must be okay with what you do and who you are regardless of what others think.
Vulnerability is not weakness. It is courage.
Denying vulnerability that exists is weakness because you have a weakness you’re not admitting.
Vulnerability is not revealing your deepest secrets to strangers. Get to know someone and see if you can trust them first.
Trust must be slowly built over time.
Every action that someone you know takes to show their reliability (or lack thereof) is another score on your trust scorecard to determine if you can trust them.
Men get their shame not only from other men, but also from the women they know. Women also get massive shame from other women. Both genders try to live up to a perfect ideal of who they have to be that’s impossible.
Research shows that there is nothing good to perfectionism. It leads to depression, life paralysis, and many other issues. It’s caused through approval-seeking.
The data shows that shame is correlated with depression and suicide, while guilt is inversely correlated. Therefore, you want to train yourself, your children, and others to use guilt rather than shame. Get them to shame stuff like, “I made a stupid decision” rather than “I am a stupid person.”
My Own Shame
Discovering these books and reflecting on my own experiences with shame have been a wake-up call. Since I was young, I would have flash-backs to experiences I had that would seep shame and embarrassment. Usually, this occurred when my mind was free, like in the shower or driving.
After listening to The Mating Grounds podcast, I realized this is fairly common. Rather than push away the thoughts like I used to, I was encouraged to come to terms with them.
This has helped me meet these memories and feelings head-on. I came to realize that some of that shame is illogical.
For example, I would think, “I can’t believe I barged into that conversation and mentioned how I went to visit the same city recently. I must have come off like I was bragging and full of myself.”
But when I assess the situation, I was placing way too much shame and assumption on myself for simply trying to be part of a conversation. I will take these lessons and try to be more compassionate with myself.
Loving-kindness meditation has been helpful.
This whole topic has helped me become more self-aware of how I treat myself. I have realized that I need more self-love and need to stop beating myself up at times for fear of offending people.
A few years ago, I discovered the world of online dating advice. At the time, I felt like I had discovered a super power. Until that point, I thought that your success with women was fixed and there was nothing you could do about it. Finding out there were techniques I could use immediately to improve was like discovering the holy grail.
Unfortunately, these tactics and “blueprints” were horrible. They were inaccurate and produced few results. Dating coaches and pick up artists claimed to have found the “science of attraction” but it was a pseudoscience at best. They really just shot at the dark and taught what worked. It was far from a rigorous scientific process.
Now, that has changed. In the last two decades, tons of new experiments have been done by actual scientists on attraction. There is a lot more data you can trust and the results can be counter-intuitive. This is the men’s dating guide I wish I received years ago. And it’s all here for you for free.
The lessons I learned and will share come from a book called Mate: Become the Man Women Want. The book is based on extensive research on into evolutionary biology and mating. A man who is really good with women (Tucker Max) partnered up with a Ph.D. to go through thousands of shocking studies.
Humans are lucky creatures because there are so many areas (behavioral, social, fitness, mental health, fashion, etc.) we can improve. Other animals are screwed with what they were born with (like how long their antlers are).
If you read all of these, you will not come out the same person you came in (and I mean in a good way).
Here is a list of all the books written by billionaires.
I have looked all over the Internet for a list and I have yet to find a list that even comes close to what I’ve compiled here. The reason is simply because no one seems to be as plugged into the billionaire universe and the books out there as me. Nor have many people set out a goal to read most or any of them.
Richard Branson made a good point in his book that news and internet estimates of net worth are usually wildly off in both directions.
I tried my best to make this list as accurate as possible. I put more weight on the only two net worth sources I trust: Forbes Net Worth Billionaire List and Fortune. If I had any doubt if people were billionaires, I put their books in a separate list in a section at the bottom.
If you know of a book by a billionaire not on this list, leave a comment. I will keep updating this page.
When you want to get better, you hang around the people who are already like how you want to be. At least that’s what people say…
Since I started my CrossFit journey a year ago, I figured that if I am going to do this, I might as well do it right. Why not learn from the best of the best? I studied all the interviews and videos of the best athletes I could find online. I dissected Rich Froning’s book and interviews to distill his CrossFit success secrets in its own article.
The next step was reaching out to any regional or CrossFit Games competitors and seeing if any were kind enough take the time to answer my questions. Here is what they said:
How do you find a job or start a business and make a lot of money doing it without making the wrong choice? I spent years trying to find my passion and make it a career. I consumed every video, interview, podcast, and book out there on the topic.
Even now, there isn’t as much good, thorough advice as I want. But there is great advice out there that is just scattered among hundreds of interviews and speeches from successful people. I’ve compiled the best of what I’ve learned, what makes the most sense, and what actually has worked in the real world — not theory. Here’s the guide I wish I had for myself years ago:
Lewis Howes’s latest book, The Mask of Masculinity, is a breath of fresh air.
If you’re not familiar with Lewis, he’s a host of a Top 100 Apple Podcast, The School of Greatness, NY Times best-selling author of a book with the same name, millionaire entrepreneur (he’s in the online marketing industry), and the founder of an annual conference called the Summit of Greatness. He’s basically a self-help influencer.
Honestly, I wasn’t too much of a fan of his previous work because it was mainly generic self-help advice — stuff so many other gurus out there are peddling.
But this is truly a breath of fresh air from his first book because it covers a topic of psychology that many men struggle with that hold them back from success but rarely ever address. Heck, there’s barely any books on the topic.
You can tell this came from a place of honesty.
Lewis wrote it after finding himself unhappy, in toxic fights with his girlfriend, and bloody after a street brawl. Even though he was rich, successful, and a national athlete, there were still internal issues he had to work out.
Here’s what I liked and didn’t like about the book and what you can learn. Watch the video below:
I suggest checking this book out yourself because it will help you:
Have inner peace.
Form strong relationships.
Connect better with others.
Have a healthier self image.
Have a strong self worth.
Improve emotional control.
Have true strength as a man.
Eliminate insecurities with being a man.
Be your true self without fear of judgement or validation.
Each chapter focuses on a different mask that men wear. There are action steps at the end of each chapter to guide you and steps for women to take if they want to help their men.
How This Book Related To Me
This book definitely helped me, but it’s interesting to note that I likely had the opposite experience with some of the masks than Lewis, the jock.
While Lewis was a star athlete growing up and then, rich entrepreneur, he probably felt he could be the best and thought he had to wear the masks of masculinity, invincibility, athleticism, sexuality, alpha, and aggressiveness.
For me, I was so bad at most of these that I thought I could never reach them and just gave up on them. But I still partially believed that those goals were what made an attractive man. As you can tell, that can be a formula for low self esteem, envy, or compensation.
The Material Mask (the mask of wealth and status) was and is the mask I thought I had to compensate for.
I noticed I was fortunate enough to have already come to terms with some of the masks based on being a self help junkie and taking action on what I learned. I am able to be vulnerable when I want to even to strangers, which the Stoic Mask (“a man should never cry or reveal emotions”) tells you that you shouldn’t.
I had also gone through some great personal development through role models like Warren Buffett and met some friendly, muscular people. This helped me develop an internal, though not perfect, sense of self worth that allows me to not feel insecure in places where other man may seem much better than me, such as at a gym as the skinny guy.
Additionally, I had a huge temper, like my parents, as a child. Toxic fights would result in walls or furniture getting destroyed. The chapter on the Assertive Mask is great for working through this. Nowadays, I may overcompensated in the other direction by just being too passive and calm rather than feeling okay with showing people that I’m angry.
Having said that, I’m still not perfect at removing any of these masks and have room for improvement.
My Experiences with the Stoic Mask
I can list the times I cried, came close, or was deeply affected by others crying on my fingers. That’s how few it’s been. And maybe that’s not a good thing.
The Stoic Mask is definitely up at the top of my list for “Masks I can work on removing.” When I was young, my sister started crying to my parents about how I mistreated her. When that wasn’t the case at all, I got the blame and backlash from my father because she was crying.
As a man, I was unwilling to cry, so I held it in and just took the unjust blame. As I ran upstairs, a faint whimper came out.
Later on, my father was wise enough to catch that I was restraining myself from crying. He told me an old Chinese proverb that basically said how women’s tears are a dime a dozen, but a man’s tears are gold. He explained to me that it meant that women can and will cry over everything, even small things. But when a man cries, it means something.
I also remember on one of the final days of middle school, the teachers let all the students say goodbye to each other for the whole afternoon. Almost every kid started crying because they would be going to different high schools — except me and a tall, red headed guy who sarcastically said he wanted to cry but was “physically incapable of it.”
Imagine over a hundred kids, many of which were popular, athletic guys, all crying and hugging each other. People you had never see cry were crying. But it was a fun crying session. The popular girls were crying and hugging everyone. The boys were seen as cool for crying. It wasn’t a painful type of crying.
I didn’t have that many friends, so I was jealous. I spent most of the afternoon just standing and watching from a distance. I kept thinking, “How could they cry about this? I’ve gone through much more horrific stuff that would make you want to cry. These people are weak-minded and probably haven’t experienced as much suffering as me.”
It reminded me a lot of an MTV show I saw a few episodes of where they would go to high schools and make them do emotional exercises, like step to the other side of the room or raise their hand if they experienced some type of trauma.
Half way through the episodes, most of the teens are crying their eyes out.
But a Hispanic teen never did. Even though he raised his hand more than anyone else in the room. He lived in an area infested with drugs and gangs, so you can imagine what he had to go through (death of loved ones, violence, etc.).
When they interviewed him afterwards, he said it was cool that others were crying, but he just didn’t feel like crying.
But perhaps, others weren’t weak-minded or had easier lives than me. Maybe I was uncomfortable with crying.
Maybe I was made to believe that you only cry when you suffer badly. You can’t cry for small relationship-themed moments, like when your classmates go to a different high school, even though you can still keep in touch and meet on the weekends.
Or maybe I was so ashamed of exposing myself to crying or the feeling that I would miss anyone that I held back. Or maybe I just didn’t have many friends to cry for.
The interesting thing about this mask is that I don’t think anyone explicitly told me that as a man, you cannot cry. I think I just picked it up naturally through American society, maybe through the TV shows and movies out there.
I hope you understand that there are safe people and safe places to talk about your struggles and room for you to 10x your life no matter what you’re struggling with now.
And by definition, they’re some of the best at time management. They’re bombarded with thousands of emails. They have a thousand things they could do: meet with an employee, schedule a meeting, find a new marketing strategy, work on a product design, etc.
How do they choose what’s most important and still effectively build their wealth to $10,000 per day or more?
It’s not a “myth” that people succeed because they’re more productive.
The female billionaire Sheryl Sandberg has stated in her books that she made sure to leave work at 5:30 every day because her children were a priority.
Richard Branson has over 400 companies to run but he still has time to kite-surf because he puts his fitness as a priority.
President Bush has a million things to do: foreign leaders to call, CIA briefings to read, voters to please, and so on. Yet he was able to still read 95 books in a year: more than most people ever read.
Doug Conant, CEO of Campbell Soup, sent 20 handwritten thank you notes a day while running a Fortune 500 company.
I stumbled across a book called 15 Secrets Successful People Know About Time Management: The Productivity Habits of 7 Billionaires, 13 Olympic Athletes, 29 Straight-A Students, and 239 Entrepreneurs.
It has the longest title I’ve seen in a while. And I think it’ll help you uncover some secrets of time management.
Here are the top tips on billionaire productivity tips I know (which I learned from this book and all the other videos and podcasts I consumed):
Do you want to know how to stay successful in a competitive world? I’ve got just the book. I’ve heard a lot about this book from people in the business and self-help field.
It was recommended by people like Alex Ikonn, who makes 7 figures a year through his businesses. And he’s said that’s net profit after you pay for expenses, employees, and everything.
It’s definitely worth taking a look at, right?
By the way, be careful when people talk about 7 figure businesses. They may make 7 figures in sales, but might only make as little as $30,000 after they’ve paid for everything.
I want to share with you all the best insights I picked up from the book. Throughout this book summary, I will share advice from successful people and any thoughts I have to help you. I will especially look to warn you if he makes a point that isn’t well supported or cited.
Believe it or not, you can get fairly frequent advice from billionaires online.
When you have over a thousand billionaires in existence, it’s not surprise that at least few are fairly plugged into the online world.And I highly recommend getting advice straight from the top rather than someone who is moderately good at a skill. And who better to turn to than billionaires?
When I have some free time, I always like to check up on these people and the new advice they’re putting out. Here are a list of billionaires that put out at least semi-frequent advice online.
A new fad has been sweeping through the personal development movement.
Journaling. But is it just a useless fad seen as the next “magic pill” to success or is it legit?
There are even popular journals you can buy include the Five-Minute Journal, Mastery Journal, Freedom Journal, Morning Pages, and Miracle Morning (though this is more of a routine) as made famous by Alex and Mimi Ikonn, John Lee Dumas, Tim Ferriss, and Hal Elrod.
But there’s a huge problem with the current state of daily journals out in the market.
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is one of the only books that exist on how to make friends. And it’s wildly successful, selling millions of copies.
But after reading the book and the reviews, I realized there were critical components on how to make friends that were missing. People complained about the following in the book:
Short-term manipulative tactics are used that can destroy your long term success with making friends.
Some of the tips are focused on ways of getting people to like you for business and networking, which is different from making friends because you’re encouraged to be someone other than your true self.
The tips to smile more, be nice, and be interested fail to account for the female gender. When women do this, it can be misinterpreted as a sexual advance and encourage harassment.
Pretending to be interested in something you’re not and being too agreeable can cause you to end up with friends you don’t really want and you don’t actually connect with because you’re lying about your interests, overlooking their glaring faults, or befriending selfish people who drain your energy.
A lot of the advice is generic or repetitive and focused on common sense tactics to be a decent, average person.
I want to address these issues and give some advice on how to actually make friends without having to put on a fake persona or manipulate. My advice is based on what I have learned from my own experiments and/or asking people who seem to naturally good at making a lot of high quality friends.
I think most people are unaware of all the great benefits of creating an established network of healthy, supporting friends. Many are also unaware that social skills are an acquired skill that almost everyone can develop with practice.
This topic means a lot for me because I struggled immensely to make friends growing up. I even sat alone at the cafeteria often in school.
I believe you can make quality friends that have similar values and hobbies — who will support you — who you will be a lot of fun to hang around even if you’re starting from scratch. It won’t be easy but you can do it. And I’m going to teach you how to do it without having to manipulate, lie, or influence others.