When it comes to self help books for men, the books I recommend may not be what you expect. They’re not tactical books on improving your habits or focus. They’re books that dive deeper and focus on the inner psychology that are preventing you from taking action on the tactics you read about it. This may includes books on building the fundamental traits of a healthy man.
We currently live in at an era where many men are frustrated and functioning far from their potential.
We’re angry, frustrated, fearful, or anxious with our situation or lack of results and if we will stay in this plateau forever.
It’s not completely your fault. Society and your upbringing may have failed you. Many of the strong fundamentals of becoming an attractive man, like a coming of age rite of passage, male role models, and exposure the benefits of assertiveness and aggression were eliminated in your upbringing thanks to the modern world.
Because of this, many men lack strong friendships with other men, a spine to stand up for themselves or others, or the ability to effectively behave as a man, which can damage their success in their career, dating life, ability to make male friends, or romantic relationship.
A few books have helped me see what has occurred and how to improve it. You see, I’m a stereotypical nice guy. I’m overly passive, I’m scared of conflict, I dwell on anxiety for too long, I please for approval, and I have done kind things expecting something back.
I’ve learned that false belief systems prevent us from getting the results we want but we cling onto them hoping our results will change. I discovered that our beliefs came from a mixture of possible factors including radical feminism views that demonized male traits like assertiveness or dominance, lack of male role models and friends growing up, having few male teachers, past trauma with interactions with other men, and the rise of cities to replace towns.
This modernization of the world has removed vital parts of what we genetically need to become attractive, functional men in society. Our happiness and social skills could be low because of a lack of a tribe to develop strong, recurring relationships. Our extreme views on assertiveness and expressing sexuality could cause so much shame that we never stand up for ourselves or express romantic interest. Our lack of strong friendships could dramatically cripple our dating lives, emotional intelligence, and mental health.
Watch the video below for the five books that will help change your life as a man:
Disclaimer: I am not blaming women for all my problems. I am simply trying to have higher quality relationships with men as friends and women romantically in my life. I want to do that by working on my emotional behaviors (or Nice Guy qualities) that are holding me back from an evolutionary biology perspective.
I added this disclaimed because I was asked if I knew about the MGTOW, Red Pill, and Pick Up Artist communities. I’m aware they exist but some of their philosophies are filled with toxic, creepy, extreme hatred and blame towards women or extremist views on how things should be done. I choose not to follow their stuff.
Once again, the books mentioned are:
- Way of Men by Jack Donovan
- The Way of Superior Men by David Deida
- No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover
- What Women Want by Dr. Geoffrey Miller and Tucker Max
- Single, Shy, and Looking for Love: A Dating guide for the Shy & Socially Anxious by Shannon Kolakowski, PsyD
If you go through my link to a book to Amazon, I will get a commission at no extra cost to you.
Now, I’d like to hear from you. Is there a book I missed that really helped you? Has any piece of advice, influencer, or book impacted your life positively in your journey to become a better man? Let me know in the comments below.
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