A year ago, I started an experiment. After hearing all the hype from successful people about how meditation, I took it up for the first time in my life. And I documented my journey with data.
I used the app, Insight Timer, the best free meditation app out there. It logs all the free guided meditations I listen to on there and breaks down the stats. According to the app, I have meditated a total of 56 hours and 27 minutes for a daily average of 10 minutes.
Ben’s philosophies in life are still influencing many people today. His concepts of pursuing health, wealth, and happiness even impacted Tim Ferriss to structure his best-selling book Tools of Titans around these concepts.
Here’s a busy man’s book summary of Ben’s autobiography, a book I’ve been wanting to read for year that I finally got to:
The Fung Brothers are a Chinese-American duo consisting of comedians and rappers, Andrew Fung and David Fung. They have a successful Hip Hop foodie and streetwear YouTube channel, with almost 2 million subscribers.
Here’s my interview with them. We talk Asian American obstacles, overcoming excuses, social media growth tips, dating & wealth advice, and more.
The month of May is Asian Pacific American Heritage Month! The history of this appreciation month dates back to 1978 when U.S. Congress passed a resolution to celebrate the culture for a week. Like other cultural appreciation weeks, they later extended it to a full month.
Many Asian Americans have insecurity, shame, or hidden disgrace when it comes to their race because they perceive it to be lower status in American culture. We have to stop doing this and stop shooting ourselves in the foot with self-pity and defeatism. This month is a great month to do so. My mother has been a strong supporter of feeling proud of your ancestry. 13 years ago, I competed in a state-wide history project presentation. Hundreds of three-board poster boards filled up the the cafeteria and gymnasium that the competition was housed in.
Kevin Kreider is an Asian American male model, life coach, speaker, fitness trainer, social media influencer, and bodybuilding competitor.
As a child, he was bullied for his skinny figure and race, while struggling with Tourette’s Syndrome. Kevin has won several natural bodybuilding competitions and spoke at TEDx. Now, he helps other Asian American men cultivate their Asian American masculinity through life coaching.
Despite being young, I’ve come across a decent amount of people my age who have been diagnosed with cancer.
It makes me wonder what I would do if I were to die in a month from now. It’s a powerful exercise that I suggest you do from time to time to make sure you’re not wasting your life. Cancer can happen to you and you don’t want to have a lot of regret from spending your life ineffectively.
I suggest having a month left to live because a day is too short and a year is too long. If you do the exercise centered around dying tomorrow, it’d be more for identifying regrets than identifying what you can do something about.
I want to start off the exercise to show you what I’d do if I were to die soon…
There are hobbies and passions that can be turned into your dream job.
Sometimes, you are either just unaware of them or have not discovered them yet. Today, I wanted to share with you 10 things that might help you discover your passions and turn them into a career.
I have learned these from highly successful people in the books and interviews I have consumed.
1.Experience beats thinking
I want to start with the most important tip. I was told to do this, I didn’t listened, and learned the hard way.
It’s better to learn from experience rather than pondering. I spent dozens, if not hundreds, of hours creating charts and Venn diagrams to draw out my interests and skills t see where they intersected with jobs that paid.
Although it wasn’t completely useless, it didn’t help as much as I thought.
Many spend their entire lives chasing wealth. When they get it, they find themselves still unhappy because they’re overworked, hate what they do, or lack purpose what they do. It happens all the time in of the millionaire interviews I listen to.
More horrifying than that are people who die with painful regrets, something preventable if they had only studied the mistakes of ancestors and changed their behavior. Enter the bucket list, the supposed solution. But is it?
I’ll show you how to create your bucket list the right way.
Almost every other person I meet tells me that if they didn’t have to worry about money, they would travel the world. For most young females, it’s their #1 dream.
But the sad fact is that when you dig a little deeper, they’ve barely traveled anywhere and it seems like they never will. If they have, it’s for a short length of time and at a lower quality. It’s a distant dream that never gets fulfilled.
I’m a personal finance junkie myself and know all about the power of compound interest but even I don’t want to wait until I’m old before I start enjoying life and completing bucket list items. It’s not even guaranteed you’ll live until retirement. Travel is a metaphor for every life goal in your life that you hold off, never to accomplish it, until you’re lying with regret on your deathbed. I’m not going to let that happen to you. I’m going to help you achieve those dreams.
The good news is that there are young people on social media with no money or connections who have made traveling the world for a living a reality. We can find out what they differently and learn from them…
Will Smith has been one of my role models for years. But the content available on his secrets to success was only enough to fill a small cup.
For years online, there were only two main sources. The first was a 2010 video compilations of a few interviews on success he did. He spoke on the importance of hard work, talent versus skill, work ethic, priorities, and belief.
You can throw in the interview he did with Oprah under this source too. On there, he admitted that he would fly back from China every weekend when he was filming there, a 12+ hour flight, to watch his son’s football games. So admirable. That’s true dedication.
The second source was his films. You had to learn from his implications and storytelling because it’s not his direct words or advice but what his characters go through.
His drive to succeed shines through some of his movies, like the Pursuit of Happyness and I Am Legend.
But recently, that’s changed. Will has finally started an Instagram and YouTube channel. And they’re stunning. He’s a natural creator and I had underestimated just how creative and talented he was. He’s been posting skits, well-shot vlogs, mini-raps, and Instagram stories with life advice.
I was giving a speech awhile ago about my social struggles, an Indian came up to me and unleashed on how he could relate relate.
He said he didn’t want to seem racist but he didn’t connect with the white people in his area. He always gravitated towards any Asian or Indian people he saw to hang out with. The problem was that, for most of his life, he lived in places with mostly white people.
I realized this was a common issue. Many Asian Americans face it. I’ve seen people complain about it online as well.
“There are no perfect relationships. There are no perfect partners. Relationships by their very nature are chaotic, eventful, and challenging.” ― Robert A. Glover, No More Mr. Nice Guy
One of the books that has had the most profound impact on my life is Dr. Robert Glover’s No More Mr. Nice Guy.
The book uncovers:
the truth about the stereotypical Nice Guy
why modern society has created so many of them
why they fail to get the relationships and career success they crave
how to take back your life in an honest, non-manipulative way without becoming a jerk
It also goes into detailed stories of many of his Nice Guy clients and specific steps on how to break free from this behavior.
Dr. Glover understands Nice Guys deeply, having coached thousands of them as a licensed psychotherapist. He adeptly addresses specific common questions like, “Why is it a bad thing to be nice?” and “How do I talk to a girl without making it seem like I’m hitting on her?”
Brené Brown is a University of Houston research professor who has spent decades studying shame and vulnerability.
For most of human civilization, men have hid behind the mask of masculinity, concealing any signs of shame and vulnerability because they believed that a man should never show weakness.
But it turns out that Brené found that vulnerability is a vital part of mental health, communication, and working relationships through her scientific study. Men are waking up and realizing this — even entrepreneurs like Lewis Howes have wrote books on it.
If you’re not familiar with the vulnerability, shame, and guilt movement, start out by checking our Brené’s TED talk, which has gotten millions of views:
“Vulnerability is not weakness. I define vulnerability as emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty … Vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage.” -Brené Brown
Are you dealing with shame? How do you identify if you have it and how do you handle it? Listen to my podcast episode to find out:
Subscribe to the podcast:
“Shame is a focus on self. Guilt is a focus on behavior.” -Brené Brown
Here are some key lessons I learned from her book, Daring Greatly:
There is no data that shows there is any benefit to shame.
Shame resiliency is the ability to realize what you did is still worth it regardless of the risks of shame and embarrassment.
Shame resiliency is important and useful and can be improved.
Validating your self-worth based on the external is a recipe for disaster and shame. You must be okay with what you do and who you are regardless of what others think.
Vulnerability is not weakness. It is courage.
Denying vulnerability that exists is weakness because you have a weakness you’re not admitting.
Vulnerability is not revealing your deepest secrets to strangers. Get to know someone and see if you can trust them first.
Trust must be slowly built over time.
Every action that someone you know takes to show their reliability (or lack thereof) is another score on your trust scorecard to determine if you can trust them.
Men get their shame not only from other men, but also from the women they know. Women also get massive shame from other women. Both genders try to live up to a perfect ideal of who they have to be that’s impossible.
Research shows that there is nothing good to perfectionism. It leads to depression, life paralysis, and many other issues. It’s caused through approval-seeking.
The data shows that shame is correlated with depression and suicide, while guilt is inversely correlated. Therefore, you want to train yourself, your children, and others to use guilt rather than shame. Get them to shame stuff like, “I made a stupid decision” rather than “I am a stupid person.”
My Own Shame
Discovering these books and reflecting on my own experiences with shame have been a wake-up call. Since I was young, I would have flash-backs to experiences I had that would seep shame and embarrassment. Usually, this occurred when my mind was free, like in the shower or driving.
After listening to The Mating Grounds podcast, I realized this is fairly common. Rather than push away the thoughts like I used to, I was encouraged to come to terms with them.
This has helped me meet these memories and feelings head-on. I came to realize that some of that shame is illogical.
For example, I would think, “I can’t believe I barged into that conversation and mentioned how I went to visit the same city recently. I must have come off like I was bragging and full of myself.”
But when I assess the situation, I was placing way too much shame and assumption on myself for simply trying to be part of a conversation. I will take these lessons and try to be more compassionate with myself.
Loving-kindness meditation has been helpful.
This whole topic has helped me become more self-aware of how I treat myself. I have realized that I need more self-love and need to stop beating myself up at times for fear of offending people.