Imagine hitting all your life and financial goals. Sounds great, right?
But many people who get there hit a funk.
Pat Flynn, an online entrepreneur, received this chilling email not long ago. He shared this email in his book Will It Fly? It’s worth sharing if you think money alone is all that matters:
Subject: I make $20,000 per month and I’m not happy.
Hi Pat, I’m sorry to email you like this, but I had no one else to turn to. I feel like I know you because I listen to your voice all day. You’re like a friend, even though we’ve never met. Sorry if that sounds weird.
Anyway, I want to thank you. You don’t know this, but you’ve taught me so much about how to build a successful online business. I currently generate over $20k per month in recurring revenue, but here’s the thing…
I’m unfulfilled. I’m not as happy as I thought I was going to be.
A few years ago, before I started my company, the thought of making this kind of money online was a pipe dream. Now that my “dream” has come true, I realize that I didn’t give my dream much thought at all and there’s much more to life than just making money.
I don’t even know why I’m emailing this to you, Pat. Maybe just to get it off my chest and share it with someone who might understand because you seem to have it all figured out. I don’t know. I just opened my email and started typing, which is funny now that I think about it because I jumped into it without a plan, sort of like how I started my business. Clearly I need to work on that.
Anyway, I don’t expect a reply because I know you’re busy. Thank you Pat, for all you do.
This man is not alone. Throughout my hundreds of hours of study of successful people, I’ve found many celebrities and successful entrepreneurs come forward with the same conclusion that wealth and/or fame doesn’t guarantee happiness.
What separates them from the rich and happy people?
After decades of research, Stanford psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck found that your beliefs have the ability to affect whether you reach become successful or not. She formed a theory around two core mindsets that categorize the successful from the unsuccessful: the fixed versus growth mindset.
Fixed Mindset Vs. Growth Mindset
What are the differences between a fixed and growth mindset? Let me explain:
What Is A Fixed Mindset?
Fixed mindset people believe that their skills (intelligence, ability, potential, etc.) are fixed from birth and unchangeable. As you’re going through section, if you realize many of these traits align with how you are, it’s agood test to confirm you have a fixed mindset.
Fixed mindset people have the following characteristics:
They hide their deficiencies and will not admit they have them.
They don’t enjoy the journey as much as the success at the end.
They care more about feeling superior, special, and different from others.
They believe their are finished products already rather than works-in-progress.
Their self worth and competence is based on their actions and perception by others.
They are in school to get good grades — even if it means cheating to do so, not to learn.
They put in as little effort as possible because they think smart people don’t need to try hard.
After a negative event they caused, they label themselves as something negative. After a positive event they caused, they label themselves as something positive.
They have beliefs and statements like:
“If you don’t succeed, never try again.”
“Once tried, once failed, never try again.”
Fixed mindset people have thoughts like:
“The world is out to get me.”
“Nothing good ever happens to me.”
“Life handed me a bad life and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
Because they believe their abilities are unchangeable, they evolve behaviors to protect themselves. For example:
They will cheat or avoid challenges to hide their deficiencies in skill rather than be okay with it and grow.
They avoid opportunities where they can learn and get better if it means exposing their deficiencies.
They have a sense of urgency to succeed now because their results measure their worth forever.
They will do whatever they can to appear special or different from others.
They refuse to try if it means losing because they fear judgement.
After A Failure
Fixed mindset people often have tons of excuses for why they didn’t succeed. They pick excuses that are outside of their control so they can cover up their weaknesses.
After a failure, they may make statements in their head or out loud like:
“I’m a loser.”
After a failure, they:
Pick a fight.
Pout and whine.
Sit there and cry.
Lock themselves in their room and cry.
They do this even if the failure is not even close to a devastating event. It could be a mid term instead of a final or someone brushing them off instead of an outright rejection.
Any event they cause, good or bad, are labels of themselves. For example, if they win an award, they think, “that means I’m smart.”
Fixed Mindset People Are Normal The Rest Of The Time
Fixed mindset people are not always negative. They can act just like positive growth mindset people most of their lives. But they reveal their differences after they fail.
You know the problem with all the “beginner’s guide to CrossFit” articles on the web? They’re all written by people who never actually experienced Crossfit for an extended period of time.Instead, they’re telling you what it’s like based on a handful of visits, hearsay, their own opinions, interviewing a trainer (or salesman), myths, superstitions, and false assumptions.
It’s been over a year since I started doing CrossFit. During that time, I went on four or five times a week to one of their classes (they call them WODs, work-outs-of-the-day). I want to profile my review of CrossFit so far, and for once, you’re going to hear it from someone who is naturally pretty skeptical and hasn’t “drank the Koolaid.” There are definitely some myths that need to be shattered.
I want to share with you the truth about CrossFit from someone who has actually been through it, show you my results, and give you my review.
What is CrossFit?
CrossFit is a training program that focuses on increasing your general athletic fitness across numerous cross-training areas, including cardiovascular, stamina, strength, flexibility, speed, agility and so on.
It started by focusing on training police and military. Since then, it has branched out to train everyone, including the average middle-aged mother.
In simple terms, it is cross fitness training. Your goal is to become healthy and fit across numerous areas. Think decathlon versus sprinting.
You’re more of a generalist than a specialist. You may not lift the most weight in a specific lift or run the farthest or fastest in another. But on average across all these metrics, you score higher than most others. And technically, you can be a specialist at CrossFit by competing in the Crossfit Games, which throws a wide variety of tests each year to test you in all these areas.
“That’s been one of my mantras – focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.” -Steve Jobs
I got an email from a reader. If you’re part of my email newsletter, you get first dibs on me. Here’s what she said:
I am trying to juggle an Etsy store, work at a Michelin Star restaurant, and take a Digital Marketing course. I’m trying to use the restaurant job to finance my endeavors and bring my Etsy shop to profitability and use my new skill as a Digital Marketer. But I’m not sure where to begin as a Digital Marketer and also how to memorize so much information in a short period of time for my new restaurant job. I basically need motivation and consistency to keep me in the right direction. After reading your blog, it seems you are the master of these two things.
Here’s my reply (and an open letter to everyone who has ever been overwhelmed):
Dear Stressed Student,
It’s time for a quick story…
Once upon a time, there was a boy in his twenties who had high hopes and dreams. And although he had tons of energy to pursue his goals, he was overwhelmed by the advice online.
He wanted to get better at dating, but was paralyzed by the hundreds of contradictory articles and videos. He wanted to grow a YouTube channel, but also wanted to grow an Instagram page and travel the world.
These goals lead him to more advice on the Internet that overwhelmed him even more and spread him work super thin across different subgoals. He was making no progress in any goal because his energy and focus was split.
One day, he watched an interview of Warren Buffett, the richest man in the world. Buffett said that he and Bill were asked what was the biggest factor that lead to their success independently. They both said, “Focus.”
This boy read the book Essentialism, which confirmed how different goals diffuse your progress just like the sunlight without a laser-focused magnifying glass will not burn a spot on the ground.
From there, he started listening to hundreds of interviews of millionaires and high performs via podcasts and kept hearing about the importance of focus. It made perfect sense and he said he would focus. But months later, he found that he wasn’t as focused as he could be. He was constantly tempted by new ideas and different things he could do.
Then, he turned to his struggle with motivation as the cure. He studied what multi-millionaires, like Steve Harvey and Arnold Schwarzenegger, had to say about motivation. On how they achieved so much success by staying motivated while everyone else gave up during the toughest times because their dream was so much bigger than their fear, procrastination, and anxiety.
This boy is me. Focus and motivation are clearly important, but tough to execute on in practice. What if I don’t have a dream as big or compelling as Arnold? How can I stay motivated?
Fortunately, I didn’t stop there. I’ve studied the topic in more detail and may be able to help.
It’s easy for us to juggle too many needless tasks. That’s what most people do. It can be tough to make ends meet in life, so sometimes you may have to juggle two things.
But sometimes, you have to do what you must to do what you want. For example, make learning digital marketing your main focus in your free time, and be content with doing as much as you can at your restaurant job to pay the bills for the time being.
Common sense is not so common. It’s a trap for people to say, “that’s obvious” yet end up never doing it.
Sometimes, you can think your main problem is one thing (motivation and consistency), but be completely unaware it’s another (lack of focus). Other times, you need help in all three because you’ve chosen the wrong motivation and it’s not enough to keep you going.
I don’t know enough about your situation, so it seems like all three are actual problems. If so, here’s what you can do if you’re ever feeling de-motivated or lacking in consistency:
1. Find A Reason Bigger Than Your Resistance
In certain circles these days, this advice has become a cliche. But it’s still true.
There are nuances to this advice that are worth mentioning.
Some people say that you need to find a why that makes you cry. I don’t think so. Arnold Schwarzenegger was the only person that smiled at the gym because he knew every painful repetition lead him closer to be Mr. Olympia, his ultimate dream.
Steve Harvey was more anxious and scared than the average person each time he got on the stage. He didn’t negate the fear. He did it anyways because his dream of being the #1 comedian was so big.
Your dream doesn’t have to be monumental It just has to be bigger than your resistance.
2. Find Work That Is Better Than Play
Another way of going about channeling your energy and having the motivation to focus is to find something you enjoy so much that it’s not work. Many of the world’s most successful people have followed this formula.
Keep in mind that we have to be at least somewhat practical.
Some say that you can turn anything you enjoy into a modest full-time career. I won’t say we are there yet. I’ve tried it in many fields and it’s tough. Sometimes, certain markets don’t have enough money to monetize just yet. So have a dose of practicality in what you choose … for now.
But also keep in mind that fields are opening up. We are in an age where a man can make millions playing video games, editing the footage, and putting it up on his YouTube channel. It’s also an age where there is a lot of competition for a position like this and tens of thousands vying for those spots at the top.
Whatever you’re doing, whether it’s digital marketing or something else, make sure you enjoy it and aren’t doing it mainly for the money.
What I love about Richard Branson and his brand is that he makes sure everyone has fun working for his company. Work doesn’t have to be a horrible chore. Even if it’s work that is mundane in nature and seems like you can’t turn around, he makes it fun somehow. Maybe it means dressing up as a woman, dancing around naked, or jumping into a pool in a suit. It doesn’t require tons of money to have a boatload of fun.
3. Consume the stories of people you want to be like
What lifestyle do you want? Be as detailed as you can. What does their day look like? What do they do for fun? How do they live?
Then, study as much as you can about them. Maybe you prefer a digital lifestyle where you can work from a laptop and travel the world. Who has that lifestyle? Maybe it’s Ryan Lee, Pat Flynn, or Casey Neistat. They all live different flavors of that. You can be even more detailed in what you want to narrow down who to study. Maybe you don’t like making videos, so Casey is out.
I often check if the person I choose has written a book. I’m often surprised that they have, usually on how they did it. This has happened for two people recently I admire, Gary Kasparov and Michael Strahan.
Studying the toughest parts of people’s lives helps you understand how they got through it.
They persevered when everyone else quit. The darkest times are usually right before the sun rise. Sylvester Stallone was homeless before he got his first break. The billionaire John Paul DeJoria slept on his streets with a kid at 21. There are plenty of stories like this if you look for them.
4. Use the Tiny Habits technique
We’ve all tried to use pure willpower to stay focused or started on something … and failed. For me, it was working out at the gym. My history of working out was littered with years and years of procrastination and inconsistency.
Then, I tried something new … and it worked like a charm.
Commit to a consistent routine that’s so easy that you can’t help but to do it. I learned this from Stanford professor BJ Fogg’s years of study on habit formation.
Don’t increase how much you do until you’re thoroughly comfortable and it’s become ahabit. For me, this was just five minutes of exercise a day. Each time I got there, I wanted to do more because it was so easy to do five minutes. But the tiny commitment helped me get over the biggest hump, which was getting out of the house.
No matter where you are, someone has accomplished what you want with worse starting circumstances. That means you can do it too.
“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” -Epicurus
One baby step at a time.
Now, it’s your turn…
Please leave a comment below and let me know:
What’s the number one reason you do what you do?
I would love to hear from you.
Also, if you haven’t already, sign up for my free newsletter to receive the top secrets of high performance I’ve learned.
For the longest time, I felt like it was way too late to make an impact on the world and become successful.
I am ambitious and I wanted to be really successful. But the news made it seem like if you did not become a singer, actress, or tech entrepreneur by the time you were 21, it was over. It turns out I’m not the only one. A lot of other people (some into their 40’s) think it’s too late.
But then I got into personal development and did some research. I studied hundreds of the world’s most successful people and I was startled at what I found.
It’s not true at all. When you think it is all over, it’s really just the beginning of an incredible journey.
Get Excited. The Best Years of Your Life Are Ahead.
Most people don’t care about succeeding. They walk through life like zombies. But you’re not like that. You’ve been looking to earn more and do more for a while now. I’ve heard your cries for help.
It can be frustrating when you work hard for extended periods of time without recognition. I’ve been there. You know what it’s like. But no longer.
I’ve curated some of the best advice from experts on how to get a raise or promotion, including Ramit Sethi, Jack Welch, Dorie Clark, Gary Bencivenga, and more. I want to share with you what I learned.
I was watched this video by Tony Robbins and it sent chills down my spine. Start this video at around 8:00.
The Too Long Didn’t Watch of it is that he’s known TONS of people who made millions of dollars but ended up broke and bankrupt. He mentioned examples like the highest paid actress of her time, a top actor in The Godfather, Marvin Gaye, Michael Jackson, a top athlete from the Boston Red Sox, Floyd Mayweather, and Mike Tyson who made $500 million.
How is that possible?
It’s quite simple. They spent more than they earned rather than saving and investing their money.
There’s so many more I know of that he didn’t mention like the rapper 50 Cent or the teen singer, Aaron Carter, who made $100 million before 21. Tony said that he learned that Floyd Mayweather literally would spend every cent he would make after he earned it from a fight and repeat.
Saving money is more important than ever now that we’re bombarded with peers showing off their excessive spending on social media and because we live much longer than ever before after retirement.
And the key to doing so is a concept called paying yourself first.
I’m a big fan of the billionaire, S. Truett Cathy. But most people don’t even know who he is (He’s the founder of Chick Fil A). I’ve loved going to his stores for over a decade. Truett’s book It’s Easier to Succeed Than To Fail, where a billionaire lays down his secrets to successis one of those rare gems. It’s a must-read and huge opportunity that most people are missing out on.
Outside of his wealth, Chick Fil A still has one of the best customer experiences out of all the fast food places I’ve visited. They still carry out the food to your table when you dine in. On top of all of this, they still remain closed on Sundays for religious reasons, which turns away millions of dollars in sales and lets their competitors get ahead. I think this is admirable because it shows that money isn’t everything and you have to commit your values straight.
When I dove into this book, I was amazed at how humble and simple of a man he was. His lessons on gratitude and living life go far beyond just making money; they touch on something even more important.
Watch this video and discover three big lessons I learned from the book. You will learn:
why “easier” is not the same as “easy.”
a secret to making billions of dollars.
why time and life are more precious than money through a deeply personal story.
Once you had a chance to watch, I’d love to hear from you. In the comments below, let me know what’s the most useful insight you took away from the video and what is one specific action you can take now to put it into practice?
Please share as much detail as possible in your reply. Tons of people come here everyday for help and your story may be just what they need to have a breakthrough.
Thanks again for sharing your positive vibes and making this tiny hangout one of the coolest, most game-changing places out there.
P.S. if you know one or two people who would find this valuable, please share this with them.
P.P.S. there are some cool facts about Chick Fil A I learned from the book that I have to share with you…
How did Chick Fil A get its name? The sandwich. It wasn’t anything innovative. He named it after the Chicken Fillet sandwich he invented; it’s as simple as that and he’s never changed it.
Where did Chick Fil A’s logo come from? That red chicken logo has been there since the start. Similar to what Phil Knight did with Nike, that logo was bought for pennies on the dollar from a random graphic designer. He never ended up changing it. It just goes to show you that the logo doesn’t matter nearly as much as people think. I think it’s retarded when people start a company and waste thousands of dollars trying to get the right logo; you can figure that out later (or it may be good enough already and never worth changing). For Phil, he didn’t even like the checkmark logo. But it stuck!
Have you ever wondered what the #1 key to success is?
I was reading the book 15 Secrets Successful People Know About Time Management and I think it finally clicked.
The book interviewed a billionaire who said that what set him apart from others wasn’t his intelligence, but his willpower. It was his willpower to commit and do the things he set out to do.
Why Willpower Matters
So why else is willpower (also known as self-control) important, other than just because a billionaire said it helped him earn more money?
Two Australian psychologists, Meg Oaten and Ken Cheng, have your answer. They found that exercising self-control in one area of life helps improve all areas of life that require willpower. They found this by having numerous test groups who all had different willpower-themed exercises:
money-management and budgeting.
studying and concentration.
exercise and fitness.
Afterwards, they tested the students and found that they performed better on all the willpower tests in each of the areas even though they only worked on one of them. They worked out more, studied more diligently, and spent less impulsively.