Recently, I was on the computer in the library. I noticed an attractive dirty blonde haired girl sitting at a table close by. She was dressed well with a black tank top underneath larger white tank top. I was not looking to approach her. I had work to do.
Plus, a girl may look attractive but once you get to know someone, how they really are as a person could be a different story. They could be a bad influence or have a lot of things they need to sort out.
I noticed an elderly gentleman who sat closer to her who all of a sudden went up and started talking to her casually. At first, I assumed it was her father. As time passed, I observed how he was speaking and how she was responding that some of the subtle body language conveyed they were not related. It got uncomfortable so I went back to my own computer screen.
After a while, I looked back and it seemed like he was hitting on her in a typical casual indirect small talk “talk about the weather” type way. I felt a little uneasy, most likely unconsciously mirroring some subtle things about the girl’s body language (but who knows? maybe I was off and this wasn’t the case at all!). The man eventually returned to his computer. A couple minutes later, he turned around and said another few things for 20 to 30 seconds and went back to work.
He seemed slightly happier (as I would to) and peppier after he talked to her. After that, about 20 seconds passed and the girl got up, packed her things, and left. She handled it well. She was nice to the man but not overly nice.
Maybe I got the story completely wrong. Maybe they were related or friends. But the story goes on.
Occasionally, he makes some weird noises while on the computer. He pulls out his earphones, which he had plugged in to his computer, and violently scratches both sides of the back of his head, clawing at his hair. This goes on for about 10 seconds while he makes very loud noises. He jumps up and walks swiftly to the library bathroom, with the glint of baldness at the back of his head.
5 minutes later, he returns to his chair with a Poptart in his mouth. Throughout this whole time, I am feeling a bit uncomfortable. He did some other stuff like walk around and slam his hand on a metal pillar a few times randomly. He did the scratch-hair-like-dog violently thing numerous more times.
Occasionally, you get some strange individuals like this at the library. I sometimes get people who are oblivious to the fact that they are laughing hysterically to videos they watch through their headphones. Or are talking to themselves.
I saw the girl again and asked her if he knew the man she was talking to. She paused and said yes. Maybe she was lying to defend the man, but most likely, she actually did. This man wasn’t a stranger creeping on her like I assumed.
This story reminds me of a few life lessons that may be of use to you.
1. You don’t know people based off a first impression of how they look. You don’t know them from spending an hour or a day with them. Strangers could be completely off the wall or not what you expect. Get to know someone fairly well first. A girl or guy could look SUPER attractive but after spending a month with them, their true colors come out. They could be horrible influences, horrible people, needy/controlling, or crazy.
2. Girls, especially attractive girls, have to go through uncomfortable situations like tons of guys approaching or harassing them. Oftentimes, most of these guys will be far from desirable. Their conversation skills, style of dress, hygiene, and so on are off that it’s creepy or uncomfortable. Therefore, they’ve developed defensive skills to ward off these men. Some are mean — don’t take it personally. Some are just friendly and give a fake phone number quickly to get them away.
Do all girls go through this? No, there is huge variety in what girls experience based off many factors (geography, culture, beauty, etc.). But there is a possibility that the girl has gone through these problems more often than men so understanding that can set you apart and make the experience more charming for both of you. As you can see, not all men talking to women they don’t know are situations of harassment.
3. YOU MAY BE WHERE YOU BELONG in your marketplace and that’s okay. This man’s sense of fashion (light green t-shirt) and his social quirks were one of many things that probably turns people off. His nutrition sense, like most people, is probably non-existent based off the Pop Tart. His wild hair and craziness is another thing that can be improved. (It’s funny because while I write this, my hair is a messy mop of death. I need to work on that too but I’m lazy.).
There’s tons of average guys out there who are average in most things. They are not that special. In fact, some of them are very fun and friendly people, which make them above average in certain categories. Yet they can definitely improve on many areas to do better in dating if they are aiming for higher caliber women. I don’t want to go too in-depth in this article on it because there’s a lot of things that can be wrong in dating, not necessarily the value you bring. One thing, for instance, is the fact you are not finding good ways of meeting women or men on a daily basis. If you’re meeting zero people everyday, that’s part of the problem. Also, realize you can be a pretty happy individual without a hot date in your life. I’ve met some average joes who are pretty happy, fun individuals. Some were single and some had girlfriends. But they definitely weren’t supermodel girlfriends. I think too many people out there get depressed because they don’t have a date or aren’t getting laid.
Follow-up: So as I was finishing up this post, I saw the old man get up and talk to another two young girls (They were young. Either in high school or college). This man seemed at least 50, so I was like WHOA! He had a chat for a good while (maybe 3 or 4 minutes) and after he left, I had to solve the mystery and got up and asked one of the girls if he was hitting on them. She said no. I said, “OK. I just wanted to know. I just saw him chatting with a lot of girls.” She replied, “No, he’s our friend. He tends to do that.” I didn’t want to interfere any longer so I just went away. Does this mean it’s confirmed he wasn’t a creeper? Definitely not. The girl I asked might have just thought I was jealous or thought I was trying to be some white knight coming into save them. The first thing I said when I went in could have been phrased better. Perhaps, she just lied to get another guy she thought was hitting on them to leave them alone. Maybe I’m way off the mark. Or maybe this guy is just as he seems and has watched a few too many pick up or dating advice courses.
Hopefully, you learned something useful from this article. If so, please share this with your friends!
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